Ten Tips to remember for the holidays!

After a month long hiatus, The ArchiFord is back with:

The ArchiFord's Ten Tips to remember for the Holidays!!!

1. Shones on the PROWL- Tis the season to be a shone! Shones are always looking for new victims, so beware! Christmas time is their peak time to get out and explore their hometowns. Remember to not be swindled into thinking that the shone really wants you because the odds are that the shone is looking for a hometown replacement. Shones are always feenin for some and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. "They dont care what they mama say they gonna SHONE!" Also beware because shones are appearing in different forms nowadays. You think you know your typical shone, but these shones are getting bold [messing with friends in the same circle, shoning during daytime hours, also being proud of their titles], SO BEWARE.
2. Prostitution is an option- Tis the season to make some money. As you know the expenses that can be incurred during the holidays can send you in a financial hole. Well here is an option for you to get through the holidays without being broke: PROSTITUTION!. Ladies remember that you are sitting on a pot of gold [WELL MOST OF YOU, BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ARE SITTING ON RUSTY COPPER!]. SELL WHAT YOU GOT AND MAKE SOME MONEY. Now fellas dont think we cant make a quick buck for what we do... We can make bank as well. Start chargin these shones admission. WHY give it up for free when you an make some easy paper while you are at it [all u gotta do is lay on your back or get on your knees and some of you are quite good at that]. So next time you are looking at your credit card bill from Christmas purchases, and dont know how your gonna pay the bill, then consider selling something.
   
3. Become Boo-less Soon- Tis the season to be SINGLE. This is not the time to try to get booed up. Boos=Money!!! We do not want to spend money on a boo during this time of the year. So here is some advice if you have been dating someone for less than a month, then they do not deserve a gift and yall may want to break up and rekindle after the holidays. Now I'm not discouraging having a boo, im jus sayin they come with a price tag. So to recap: do not get a boo until after the holidays because thet might expect a gift.
   
4. Bake some cakes- Tis the season to be Betty Crocker/Duncan Hines. Everyone knows that they enjoy themselves some good cake. Well the holidays are the best time to get your caking game up. This is the season in which sexting may be considered appropriate. Do what you have to do to get you through your lonely, single holiday at home with your family.
   
5. Reciprocity is NEEDED- Tis the season to give but ALSO Receive. Everyone knows that it is always better to give than to receive. Well, there needs to be an even exchange at all times during the holidays. Too many people just give, give, give, and get absolutely nothing in return. That is unconstitutional and that is what I like to call a free loader, user and abuser. Do not get yourself caught up with people who will just use you to get what they want. Make sure that the rules of reciprocity are met at all times. Shones are good at being users. Do not become another tick mark on there long list of victims.
   
6. Returns & Exchanges- Tis the season to get what you really want. Okay everyone knows that over the holidays we all receive some gifts that are just uncouth, uncivilized, cheap, and unconstitutional. You all can do two things with these unwanted gifts: 1. Return or exchange them to the store to get something else or get some money. 2. Keep the gift, and wrap it up and give it back to the person who gave it to you. I like option two because people need to realize that they shouldnt give crappy gifts. If at all else fails, get a gift card or cash is always good.
   
7. Dont Wait. Initiate- Tis the season to make some moves. The holidays always tend to bring out the best in everyones attitudes. You may have had your eyes on a particular person, but didn't want to pursue them just yet. Well this season is the perfect opportunity to stop waiting and actually initiate some communication with this prospective mate. However, before making moves, make sure that you have done your research and that this person is no UCS [undercover shone]. UCS' are running rampant this days, and they would like nothing better than to taint the lives of another innocent bystander. Further more, begin some pursuits so that you can have a Valentine's Day boo.
   
8. Save your Money- Tis the season to be cheap. So I really do not like the word cheap. It has such a negative connotation. So instead we shall use financially conscious. Its okay to be this way. Some people just do not deserve your money. Shones are not worthy being taken to the movies, get a bootleg for they ass. Shones do not deserve the nice restaurants, take them to Micky D's for food. You get the drift do not waste money on someone that is not serious about you. Just give them the physical or sexual acts they want and keep it moving. Do not waste cash on them.
   
9. You can Run, but you cant hide- Tis the season to be proud of the real YOU. Many people go back home for the holidays; a place where everyones reputations are still left in tact [Unless you were even a bigger shone back home]. Shones are able to get away from there tainted image for a couple of weeks, however, people will begin to see through you and determine your shonedom. People beware of shones when you go home, they will try to claim monogamy but they are far from that.
   
10. New Year's Resolutions are not real- Tis the season to cut the crap. Majority of people will welcome the new year with fake resolutions. "I am going to lose weight!" "I am going to be a nicer person!" "I am going to stop being a shone!" NO YOU ARE NOT, CUT THE CRAP. Stop making unrealistic statements be true to yourself. If you know that you have been trying to lose weight for 5 years, then just let yourself gone. Like Drake said you are So Far Gone. If you are not known to be nice, then it is not the time to try to change. It has taken 20 years to mold yourself into the mean person you are. Do not try to change you, just perfect yourself. Last but not least, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STOP SHONING. It is a biological condition that is specific for you. Once a shone always a shone. You can not change who you are. Shones have never been able to keep their clothes on, so do not try to pretend now.
    

*** This blog was inspired by Miss B Mart***

Lucky Charms

Before I get into my new entry: Lucky Charms, I want you all to make sure you read my new additional commandment on the entry below. As time goes on, more and more commandments will exist, so stay tuned. Ok, so onto the new entry. As you all know, I am still steering away from SHONING!!! I know tear drop!! But dont worry it will be back soon, because there is always some shone to speak about. Now onto Lucky Charms.

So I'm sure all of you are familiar with the cereal Lucky Charms. Well this entry will take a new twist on this magically delicious treat. As you all know the cereal is composed of frosted oats and colored marshmallows. These marshmallows are all different forms of treasure, and with treasures you know comes a rainbow. And as the saying going "there is always treasures lying on the other end of the rainbow."

The focus of this entry will focus on this desired treasure that we obtain. This treasure is our Lucky Charms and we often times locate a pot of gold. This pot of gold has numerous meanings to it.

A we all now we are in a recession nowadays. This pot of gold could really come in handy, don't you think? Especially since we are getting toward the end of the semester and our financial aid money is almost gone. Well no fear FEMALES, because this pot of gold is always with you [Sorry to my males, but we don't have a pot of gold]. Females you have the power to control your own destiny. If you all want something at some point, then all you all have to do is go get it. You have the power in most situations!

I came up with this pot of gold theory from a friend of mine. The theory is basically saying that at the end of the day you [females] are sitting on a pot of gold, so use what you got. If you are ever hungry, need an outfit for a big event BHM or Blackout Weekend, tired of riding the bus and want a car, then this theory can help you get what you want. Remember ladies that you are sitting on a pot of gold [I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT THE POT OF GOLD REALLY IS], so if need be sell that pot of gold.


I know some of you may be appalled at this suggestion, but its life. You females can get what you want simply by selling your pot of gold. By no means am I encouraging you all to prostitute but just know that this option is available. You can get what you want. Think of it like this: there are some people who give it up for free, so why not charge for your pot of gold and get something out of the deal.


So just remember that at the end of the day that you are sitting on a pot of gold [well most of you are!]. Some of you are sitting on some rusty copper, but hey its better than nothing so sell what you got.

The ArchiFord's Commandments

The ArchiFord's Commandments

After much deliberation I decided to switch my focus of the ArchiFord from the infamous topic of Shoning to other pertinent topics. Please enjoy, and give me your feedback.

1. Thou shalt not lie. I had to bring this commandment in because people feel the need to lie about every thing. You ask them a question and they just lie right between their teeth. You ask them "is it snowing outside" and they reply "Uh Yeah"; knowing darn well we live in Florida and it don't snow. People pleas be real, and stop lying. When you tell one lie, you have to tell another lie to cover up the lie you just told. Its just too confusing so just be honest.
   
2. Thou shalt not be a peasant. So you may ask what a peasant is. A peasant is a human being worthy of little to no human rights. Being a peasant is not a good thing. If you are a peasant then you are viewed as being of lesser value. I know in most cases you cannot change the hands you are dealt, but strive to be as non-peasantlike as possible.
3. Thou shalt not iGoon. I have said this over and over again but I guess my point has not been made clear. iGooning is not cool! If you can be big and bad hiding behind your computer screen then you can be big and bad in the presence of another. People stop writing in people honesty boxes with these crazy comments. Be a wo(man) about yours and stop concealing your identity. Do you have low self esteem or something? Are you hiding something yourself? Did you ride a little bitty bus to school? These are all questions that should be addressed the next time you consider iGooning.
   
4. Thou shalt not encounter flying cockroaches. Flying roaches are indeed UNCONSTITUTIONAL. These creatures should not exist and if you encounter these critters in life then I advise you all to take action against them. Beware because they do fly and will try yo attack, but they are just as scared of you as you are of them. Show these roaches who is bOSS!
5. Thou shalt not wear tight clothing. Ok, so I am tired of witnessing big girls wearing tight clothing. I mean I am happy that you all are comfortable in your own skin that you can wear what you want, but its not cute. Now I have nothing against big girls, I am all for girls looking nice. But what I am against is the yeast that is baking in the crevices of the tight clothing. This must stop immediately. I know I have a saying that says if you like it I love, but that doesnt apply for this.
6. Thou shalt not wear urban wear. Well, well, well where do I start on this topic. I guess I will start by discussing which brands you shouldn't wear: Baby Phat, Apple Bottom, Ecko, Pepe Jeans, South Pole... Umm these are the only ones that come to mind as of now, but im sure there are more. So people these days do not really wear urban wear anymore, I feel like this trend left us all in high School. I think that it is unconstitutional to wear baby phat at a Homecoming Ball [but thats just my opinion]. I definitely shouldnt see an individual wearing black tights, a gold bp skort, and a gold bp shirt [tHIS PERSON KNOWS WHO SHE IS!]. This is unconstitutional and kind of ethnic.
7. Thou shalt not have ugly hair-dos. Ok I heavily dislike seeing girls with messed up wraps and/or hairstyles. I understand that your hair is a delicacy that takes a lot of time to manage, however, it is not that hard to groom yourself before stepping foot out the door. I think that should be on your to do list when you wake up: Brush teeth, take shower, DO HAIR! And if you do not like managing your on hair than throw some weave in it, but dont just literally throw the weave in. I, as a male, should not be able to look at you and find every track in your head like connect the dots. DO better girls!! make sure there are not tracks showing and we will be ok. And if your hair is a mess dont judge others. Please and thank you!
8. Thou shalt not P-pop on a handstand. There isnt much that needs to be said about this. This commandment is pretty self explanatory. Just because you are flexible and have some rhythm does not mean it is okay to P-pop on a handstand in front of thousands of people. That is just unconstitutional, trashy, and classless.
   
9. Thou shalt not be a critic with no credibility. This is a very important one for me. I love how people who have no credibilty themselves are the 1st ones to talk about someone else. Practice what you preach. Your life is a mess and you want to talk about someone else. LMAO! Get it together! This goes back to my statement about bad hair. Do not be the person talking about another girls hair when your hair looks like a cat's nest.
   
10. Thou shalt not SHONE. OMG!!! You all know that I couldn't go the entire entry without mentioning SHONES! Shones are unconstitutional and inhumane. I have said enough about them so that is ALL!!!

If you all have any more commandments then feel free to comment and post them... Stay tuned for more entries to come!


**************New Amendments*************

11. Thou shall not smell early in the morning. It is unconstitutional for human beings to smell when they get on the bus at 9am. The day has just started and there are no excuses for your odor. If you have this problem feel free to bathe more than twice a day, and carry some deodorant with you at ALL times. We do not want to smell you or sit by you. Please and thank you!
12. Thou shall not wear open toe shoes with crusty toes. I know the world is with me when I say that I dont not like looking at crusty toes. Apply lotion daily and if you can get a pedicure. If you must waer open toes shoes, you need to ensure your toes look right. If our toes look a mess then wear boots for ever!!
13. Thou shall not be a GOON. I know you all are probably wondering what I mean bu be a goon. But what I mean is that you should not have to act like a goon 24/7. We all know you came from the projects, however UF is not the projects so we do not want to witness this coonery on a daily. Get it together and act civilized at some point! geez!!
14. Thou shall not Do THA MOST ALL THE TIME! There are some people that are just EXTRA for no reason. They feel the need to boast and gloat and walk around campus like they are the ish and know all. Please stop it! We all know that you are not cool! And the ones that are extra tend to not have any real friends, so stop being extra and maybe you will be liked.

SSU

SSU???

I'm sure you all may be wondering what in the world could this SSU be? I mean I am sure you have heard of BSU, ASU, and maybe even JSU, but never SSU. Well after a very informative BSU real talk session I came to the conclusion that another student union needs to be created. If you all are not aware students can create student organizations on campus. With this being said, we as concerned citizens and students of UF need to ban together to create one more organization. THIS ORGANIZATION IS NONE OTHER THAN THE SSU.

Now you wonder what the SSU stands for?

Well I am sure you all guessed it correctly. It is the Shone Student Union. Shones are a population at the University of Florida that is beginning to flourish. Their numbers are increasing and I think it would be great to get them an organization that they can call home.

Now you may wonder why or what purpose this org will serve for the community. However, you know me, I always have my reasons for things.

1. Foundation- This organization will provide a foundation and safe zone for shones/slores/whores or whatever other term you would like to use to describe them. Shones are known to break up happy homes, and therefore do not have any place for themselves, therefore this organization would be their temporary home.
2. Networking- we are all in college and know how important it is to networking. This org will enable shones to meet other big named shones on the campus, compare list, discuss shoning tactics, and execute new plans of action.
   
3. Competitions- The shones could enter in to contest to determine who is the biggest shone, or how many people I can shone with in one night, or how many friends can I shone with, or things like that.
4. Public Speaking- The organizations will also work on developing members speaking skills. If you all do not know shones are HABITUAL liars.. They lie about everything from their name to how old they are. this org will enable them to practice their lies for an audience to see if they sound valid.

Ok so now we see the purpose of SSU, but now we need officers. Below you will find descriptions on the officers:

• President: This is the HSIC (Head Shone In Charge); the requirements of this position include: shoning with friends, shoning with individuals twice your age, shoning to get positions in life.
• Vice President: This person is the next biggest shone in the organization. They have also shones with numerous individuals and do not care about who is affects.
  
• Treasurer: This individual must be a person who is a part time shone/part time prostitute. This person prostitutes to obtain funds for the organization. At times this hone gives it up for free, and other times this shone charges. Serves as the entrepreneur of the group.
  
• Secretary: This shone does all the dirty work. They are similar to Monica Lewinski with their ability to do all the deeds many people do not want to do. This person is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
• PR Director: This is the shone recruiter of the group. There job is to actively recruit other shones who may be in denial or may be undercover.

Okay so we have the details of the org now, so it is time to get this org on the roll. The org will meet on Sundays (the Lords Day because they need to be sanctified with some Holy Oil.). The meetings will also occur on The SET (scaffolds will be set up so Shones can also stand proudly with their scarlet letters).

***I NEED ALL OF YOUR HELP TO GET THIS ORGANIZATION STARTED. I NEED YOU ALL TO RECOMMEND INDIVIDUALS WHO YOU DEEM WORTHY ENOUGH TO JOIN THIS ORGANIZATION. ANY LEVEL OF SHONERY IS WELCOMED. PLEASE RECRUIT. ALSO SUBMIT NAMES OR NOMINATE YOURSELVES FOR AN E-BOARD POSITION IS YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN UPHOLD THE RESPONSIBILITIES.***

Thanks everyone and I look forward to getting all of these names of SHONES.

Are You smarter than a Prostitute?

Well, I know you all took the poll and voted to read "Ice Cream Paint job" as the next entry, but I wanted more time to prepare my thoughts. So I decided to write this one. Now I'm sure you all are wondering from the title, "Everyone is smarter than prostitutes, DUH!!!" However this is NOT TRUE!!! There are people on this planet called Earth that are NOT smarter than a Prostitute....

DO YOU ALL WANT TO GUESS WHO THESE PEOPLE COULD BE???

Well, these people are none other than our well known, been around the block, inhumane SHONES! Yes, I said it shones are not smarter than Prostitutes. I know you are thinking like Dang how could a Prostitute be smarter than a shone, but no worries because I will be sure to inform you. Because you know the ArchiFord serves to entertain, yet EDUCATE society on some of the atrocities that exist such as shones.

(***DISCLAIMER: IT HAS ALSO BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SPECULATING AS TO WHAT MY OBSESSION IS WITH SHONES! I DO NOT, I REPEAT, I DO NOT HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH SHONES! HOWEVER, SHONES ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER OUR CAMPUS.. I HAVE ENCOUNTERED NUMEROUS SHONES ON THIS CAMPUS WHO HAVE MANIPULATED THEIR WAYS IN, WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING.. ITS TIME TO TAKE ACTION AND PUT THESE SHONES IN THE PLACES THEY BELONG! ***)

Ok now that that is over we can get back to our discussion of shones and prostitutes.

SHONES V. PROSTITUTES:

• BOTH ARE VERY PROMISCUOUS: OF COURSE WE ARE ALL AWARE HOW PROMISCUOUS AND SEXUAL BOTH OF THESE TYPES OF INDIVIDUALS CAN BE.
• SHONES ARE OPPORTUNIST: THEY DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO TO GET WHAT THEY WANT. THEY DO NOT CARE WHO THEY HAVE TO USE, ABUSE, OR MANIPULATE TO GET WHAT THEY WANT. THEY ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR WAYS TO ADVANCE.
  
• PROSTITUTES ARE ENTREPRENEURS: PROSTITUTES ARE ALL ABOUT MARKETING THEIR PRODUCT AND GETTING THE HIGHEST BIDDER. THESE INDIVIDUALS ARE BUSINESS PEOPLE. THEY ARE ALWAYS THINKING IN TERMS OF THEIR ASSETS AND ACQUIRING MORE.
• THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE & THE BIGGEST FACTOR THAT ENABLES SHONES TO BE VIEWED AS DUMB WHEN COMPARED TO PROSTITUTES... IS THE FACT THAT PROSTITUTES GET PAID FOR WHAT THEY DO. Shones give up the goods for FREE! I mean you could say they may be getting attention or food or maybe even positions but prostitutes are making $$$$$$. Prostitutes may be a lot of things but at least they get paid for the dirty work they do. They are all about their money and no one messes with their money!

Shones, who are already viewed as low and inhumane creatures on this Earth, should strive to be more like prostitutes. Instead of actually giving it up to every person you have ever encountered on this campus, you should go on the corner of Gale Lemerand & Museum around Midnight and sell your services. At least get paid for ALL the dirty work you have been doing for 19 years of your life for free. But remember to make the money and to not let the money make you!

The Scarlet Letter

The Scarlet Letter- 'S'

The entry will not only be informative about our reason epidemic "The Shone," but it will also be educational. Okay so I am not sure if you all are familiar with the story "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne, but this is what the basis for this entry. I don't know about you all, but in high school I was forced to read this book, and I wasn't rather interested in this story. However, I have a new appreciation for this story and what it stands for. Okay so here is a brief summary:

It tells the story of Hester Prynne, who gives birth after committing adultery and struggles to create a new life of repentance and dignity. Throughout the novel, Hawthorne explores themes of sin and guilt. In the novel, Hester is led from the town prison with her infant daughter in her arms and on the breast of her gown "a rag of scarlet cloth" that "assumed the shape of a letter." It was the uppercase letter "A". The Scarlet Letter "A" represents the act of adultery that she has committed and it is to be a symbol of her sin—a badge of shame—for all to see.

Okay so now you are wondering, how does this tie to anything? Or maybe you have already figured out the correlation I am making?

Well after thinking about this whole shone thing, I realized that shones get off too easy by merely referring to as shones. The reasons I feel this way is as follows:

1. The term shone has such a positive connotation to it. Shone is a nice word. More harsher terms should be used to refer to people of this caliber.
2. Shones have no shame in their reputations. Shones are almost inhumane. They accept there fate and just live there lives as habitual liars and shones.

So I was thinking that we as concerned citizens should take strides to help these shones face their problems and concerns. One way in which we can accomplish this task is by forcing shones to admit to their identity of Habitual, poor character having shones. I feel that we need to coerce shones to stand on scaffolds on the Set with Scarlet Letters. Hester Prynne was forced to do the same back in the day, and I feel that this would solve numerous problems for the community. Shones would be forced to wear the Scarlet Letter of 'S' while standing on a pedestal on The Set.

This action would be taking a proactive stance against Shonery. This event would serve numerous purposes:

• Identification: Like the easy button, this scarlet letter will enable individuals to easily identify who is a shone, so other people can run away from them.
• Embarrassment: This action could also cause some shones (not all) to feel remorse, regret and embarrassment for their unconstitutional actions. Public humiliation will be evident.
  
• Reunion: Individuals who have all encountered these shones at some point in their lives would be invited to this event. This would enable networking and reflections to occur about these disgusting shones.
• Payback: Individuals who have been hurt, offended, or misled by these shones will have the opportunity to come to The Set and throw rocks, stones, holy water, or whatever else they deem necessary (I would encourage holy water because these people need Jesus!).
  

So concerned citizens, please join me in my efforts to end this epidemic. We all must do our part to end this mess. Believe me! We all know a shone or two, and its our duty to seek help for them. You never know, the person you ride in the car with could be a shone!

That was EASY!!!!

I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with the "easy button." These easy buttons can be purchased at a local Staples store or on staples.com. The purpose of the buttons is to identify something as being easy and not very difficult.

Now that you all know some brief background on this product, I will now show you the correlation between this product and shoning. As we all know shoning is an epidemic, that is surrounding us all. We can not be naive about this condition because people are shoning all around. We also know that Shone/Swine Flu is also taking over the world. So if you know that someone is in fact a SHONE, then stay far, far, far away from them because you WILL get "the SWINE!"

Ok so now that I have updated you all on all of the old news we can now discuss the easy button. Shones these days need to be mandated by law to carry an easy button with them at all times! It is UNCONSTITUTIONAL for these inhumane individuals to walk around and mislead innocent people. The easy buttons would serve numerous purposes:

• Networking- Shones with these buttons can network and discuss individuals who they have encountered on their journey to Shonedom.
  
• Identification- Innocent individuals will be able to easily identify those people who are shones and should not be messed with.
  
• Acknowledgment- Individuals with these buttons are acknowledging the fact that they are easy individuals, who will give it up to any one.

So if any of you know any shones, please feel free to provide them with an easy button, because that is just what they are, EASY!!! Whenever you encounter a shone, all you have to do is go push the button and it will respond with "That was easy!" Feel free to call the police if you feel that there are shones attempting to perpetrate and deny their shonery. Remember the first step is Denial, so they will deny being a shone. However, actions speak louder than words. Also, remember you cannot turn a ho (shone) into a housewife. So if you find a shone, run the other way, but only after you press their easy button.

SWINE- SHONE FLU???

IS IT SWINE FLU OR SHONE FLU?

As you all are aware the newest epidemic that has been spreading lately is Swine Flu. There have been outbreaks all over the world with this condition. The University of Florida has even projected that almost half of the school could get infected. This is crazy! After much deliberation, thought, and research I have concluded that Swine Flu is related with Shonery.

Now I know you are asking "How can this disease from a pig be related with Shoning?"

And no I'm not saying the pigs are shoning!

What I am saying is that the numerous outbreaks of Swine flu are associated with Shoning.

SO I KNOW YOU ASK, WELL HOW IS THAT TRUE?

Well my people, as we all know Shones are quite promiscuous people who tend to frolic or shall I say mess/fool/ kick it with A LOT of different people for different reasons. Shones are also known to give up the goods whenever necessary to whoever is available. With these transactions come the spreading of germs and diseases like Swine flu.

Example of the Contamination: One shone gets swine flu and sleeps with Person A thru Y (The shone doesn't like Z's). Person A thru Y gets infected with Swine Flu all because of ONE SHONE!!!

This doesn't make since, SHONES CANNOT BE IN CONTROL OF THIS EPIDEMIC! If shones would stop shoning, accept the fact that they are a shone, and receive proper help for their condition, then the WORLD would be a better place.

SO here are some last minute words of advice:
1. KEEP YOUR HAND SANITIZER READY!
2. DO NOT BE IN CLOSED ROOMS WITH SHONES (THEY MAY HAVE SWINE FLU!)
3. MOST IMPORTANTLY, DO NOT MESS WITH A SHONE, THEY WILL INFECT YOU!!!

Are you a Coupon Hoe?

As you all may know, at the beginning of each semester you can be sure to find people on The Set passing out Gator Greenbacks. Gator Greenbacks are coupon books that provide students with all sort of coupons and discounts. You can get discounts on restaurants, grocery stores, and any other stores in the Gainesville. With the beginning of the semester also comes other forms of coupons. This form is called "Coupon Hoes!"

Coupon Hoe-

n. A male or female who is worth less value than a normal human being. These individuals could be considered someone who is a failure at life, or someone who is fast and easy. A coupon hoe is also a person that can be obtained at a low or discounted cost. These individuals do not have standards for themselves and will give it up for free or for discounts. They can be picked up at any location, and at anytime. Sometimes there are specials and a coupon hoe can be obtained at a BOGO Price (BOGO- Buy one get one free). Coupon hoes also exhibit shoning tendencies. They are free spirited, and like to explore their options.

Girl A to B: "Wat up gruh! You seen that girl at the Venue Club last night. She think since she wear gold that she worth something."

Girl B to A:"She aint worth nothing. She is of a lesser value. She aint nothing but a coupon hoe."

FB Honesty Box?

Don't you all just enjoy receiving a notification on your Facebook account that you have just been sent an honesty box message?

Well, I do not know about you all, but honesty box is hilarious, entertaining, but yet IMMATURE. I must say so that things people will say when their identity is hidden is hilarious. Honesty box promotes iGoonin'. Individals who use HB should not hide behind their anonymous messages and MAN UP. Everyone talks about keeping it real, so Let's be real!

People who use HB.....
1)...often times have something to hide. If you were not trying to hide something then you would hit up the inbox or wall. The fact that you cannot disclose your identity says that you are up to something and attempting to hide something about you or your lifestyle.
2)...are insecure. People who are insecure are the ones who have low self-esteem. Insecure people results from a sense of being unaccepted, disapproved or rejected.
3)...have too much time on their hands. These individuals need to get a hobby, job, do community service, or get involved. There are numerous opportunities to utilize your time productively. (SN: Join BSU! Its just BS without U!). But, yes really consider using your time more wisely. Pick up a book and read.
4)...need to worry about themselves, and no one else. Get a life! You should not be worried about the lives of another. Do you, and do not worry about any one else!
5)...need to read a book or study. People who use HB probably dont have the best grades because they are focusing on the lives of others. Here is some advice: if you ALL spent more time studying for college than writing in people HBs, then maybe you all will make good grades and possibly have a decent GPA. Just a thought!

I asked my mentee, "Mini Me," how he felt about HB and he stated, " I don't know why they call it an honesty box because people still can't reveal their true identity." I would have to agree with this statement. Man up, and reveal yourself. Stop the iGOONING! It needs to cease!

BTC '09

So I decided to shift my blog's attention from the much needed shoning conversations to the much needed topic of Academic success!

As you all may know, I have spent my summer interning in Cambridge, MA. The internship is called Breakthrough Cambridge, hence where the acronym BTC comes from. However, this summer BTC also had another meaning. BTC also stood for Be The Change, which was our motto for the summer. It took me about 3 weeks to realize that the motto also had the initials BTC, but dont judge me! Well BTC is summer academics program for Middle school students. We emphasize the importance of an higher education. 90% of our students are minorities, and most of them come from underrepresented schools. At BTC, we educate our future leaders of society on different academic subjects, we plan and coordinate weekly events, and we serve as counselors, advisors, and mentors.

Ok, so now that you have received a little history or background on my internship. I am going to go into the most important people from the program that has really changed my outlook on life and education. These three boys have become my reasoning for wanting to come back another year, my reasoning for the desire to continue educating, and my reasoning for being a role model to others. These three boys were my advisees these summer: KB, Buttercup, and Mals. The three of them are all so different, yet they have all captured my heart in different ways.

KB: My all around all-star.. Always willing to help out...Always polite... Too strong for his own good LOL... Persistent and responsible... A great Baseball player... Will conquer thw orld and become famous..

Buttercup: Mr. Charming... He is just an adorable child who attempts to use charm to get out of trouble. There is never a dull moment. Confident but at times doubts himself. Loves to play with balloons. Has the ability to do whatever he wants. Is a good dancer! LOL! Needs to be pushed to full potential.

Mals: Oh Mals! Mals has the potential to do such good things in this world. At times he is unsure whether he should use his abilities for good or bad. Will be successful with whatever he does. Needs to be motivated! My future entrepreneur.

These three boys are perfect examples as to why it is important to do everything in your power to positively impact a childs life. Every child has the ability to succeed but at times they need that added push to get to there full potential. These kids are our future. They need positive role models in there life. So do everything in your power to directly effect and impact another individual. You'd be surprised the things you can accomplish, when you just take the time to do something.

Check out this video of the BTC students at our Celebration event: http://www.new.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1121543006875&ref=mf

Burning Bush

Burning Bush-

So I am sure you all are wondering what is a burning bush. By the picture you see former President Bush burning, which is rather clever, yet that's not what I meant.

I must credit this blog entry to the Kid Cudi, 88 Keys, and Asher Roth Concert I attended in Boston a couple of weeks ago. At the concert 88 Keys had a song called Burning Bush. When I heard it I knew it would become a new entry for me.

So this entry will be informative yet humorous. So if a person has or says that they have a burning bush, it is nit a good thing. BETTER YET! IT IS NEVER A GOOD THING! So run far, far away from them.

A burning bush refers to an individual whose experiencing severe burning in the genitalia areas of the body. I'm sure you are like oh I get it now. Well this burning sensation could be occurring for many reason including: Yeast infection (stop wearing tight clothing, your stuff needs to breath sometimes!), perhaps a UTI (which I know nothing about, I will leave that one for the females to figure out), or a STI. STIs are running rampant around. We need to do our part in making sure these numbers do not continue to increase. Remember on Booty Call "No Glove, No Love." It could never be a good idea to have unprotected sex and risk have an unwanted burning sensation every time you use the rest room.

SO MAKE SURE THAT YOU NEVER EXPERIENCE A BURNING BUSH! SHONES OFTEN TIMES HAVE BURNING BUSHES! SO BEWARE!

Shoning: The New Epidemic Part 2

SHONERY-The act of shoning; the numerous shenanigans involved with being promiscuous and a shone. Shonery is a condition in which shones continually practice on a daily.

So I'm sure you all are wondering how does one become qualified as a shone, and the different steps of shoning. Well its your just your luck because I am here to bring you all the answers to these questions.

To start, how can one be qualified as a shone?

-This is pretty easy to answer, but I will still go into details about it.

At my internship in Cambridge, MA i teach my kids how to think of things using the "if and only if" theory. This theory can definitely be used to discuss shonery as well.

A person can be a SHONE if and only if....

1)... they sleep around with numerous individuals: It doesn't matter if you are single and not talking to anyone. Being single does not justify shoning, it is merely an EXCUSE! Sleeping with/ messing with/ fooling around with or whatever other phrase you like to use to describe promiscuous activity with others is definitely shonish.

2)... they sleep/mess with others while they are in a monogamous relationship: If you mess with others while you are in a relationship, you are definitely a SHONE! This type of shone can also be considered a cheater. Both terms apply, you can choose to use either word, they are interchangeable.

3)... they flirt with others with the intent of having some sort of sexual benefits: This can apply to those who can be found sexting on a regular basis. Its okay to converse with others, but when your convo is ONLY about getting some, then maybe your a shone. Or maybe even a sex addict. You should definitely ask Eric Benet how he handled his addiction.

4)... they do things with others to get something in return: This can also be considered prostitution, but once again either word could apply. Shones can easily do things with others to get something in return. This return could be monetary, items, or even postions. And yes I said POSITIONS! Shones have be found to sleep with others to get positions they want, and may not necessarily deserve.

5)... they mess with or attempt to mess with individuals in committed relationships: People who know that someone is with someone, but still tries to get them are SHONES! No means no people. No one should strive to break up a happy home. This type of shone can also be called homewreckers.


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There are 5 different stages to realizing that one is a shone. These stages are similar to the 5 stages of dealing with grief. They are:

1-Denial-"I'm no shone!", No one wants to admit that they may be a shone or have shoning tendencies. Shones will swear you up and down that they are not shones, cuz they dont sleep wit everyone, but their actions say otherwise. Actions always speak louder than words.

2-Anger-"Y'all are just haters cuz I get mine.", Shones often times believe that other people are just jealous of them because they get what they want. This cant be further from the truth. We are not jealous that you are a shone with a "Burning Bush" (I will tell you about that later.)

3-Bargaining-"I promise I'll be a better person if people would stop luring me for more."Shones tend to put things off on others. During this stage they try to include others into there dilemmas by bargaining with them.

4-Depression-"Man, I don't care what you think." During this stage shones feel overwhelmed, they are also frustrated and have self pity. They are beginning to realize that they could possibly be a shone, but still arent ready to admit it.

5-Acceptance- "I am a shone and am working to improve on my actions!" Shones have to accept their fate, not just try to bear it quietly. Once a shone admits and accepts that they are shones or have shoning tendencies, then they can work on becoming reformed. Accept and embrace!

HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY TO THE ARCHIFORD! STAY TUNED! WE ARE JUST GETTING STARTED! MANY MORE WORDS/PHRASES COMING UP! AND DO NOT FORGET ABOUT THE ARCHIFORD'S INCREDIBLY FUNNY BLOG TOPICS. COMING SOON, SHONING: THE NEW EPIDEMIC PART 2. ITS ONLY GETTING BETTER! STAY TUNED.

Shoning: The New Epidemic

I'm sure you are all aware of the two leading epidemics facing African Americans today. WHich is STDs/STIs and unexpected pregnancy. We know how important it is to NEVER have unprotected sex, and how important it is to get tested. Remember: "To lead you must be AWARE," so know your status. Okay so enough with the safe sex spiel. Now onto the subject of shoning.

Before we get into this discussion I deem it necessary to first define what a shone is.

Shone-

N. A person who divulges in promiscuous sexual behavior on a daily basis. This person is known as fast and easy and will do what ever it takes to get what they want. They are not necessarily a prostitute, however, there work at times can be similar. The act of shoning normally occurs when an individual in a monogamous relationship creeps and cheats on their significant others. Other terms that could be used to describe a shone is smut, hoe, and trick just to name a few.

So now that you all are aware of what a shone is, we can go ahead and discuss this newly found epidemic. So just like STIs, shoning is beginning to sweep across our communities rapidly. I do not know if there is something in the water causing this new uproar, if so, do not drink the water. I REPEAT! DO NOT DRINK THE TAINTED SHONING WATER! Shoning is a deadly epidemic that can cause the demise of reputations, self-respect, friendships, and of course relationships.

1. Reputations- As stated previously, shones are not known to be angelic by the community. They are often times viewed as home wreckers (For example, Monica Lewinski and Sun-Yi Previn). Sometimes shones do not care if their name is tainted because they are proud of the work they do. They feel like they are an all star and they can just take it.

2. Self-Respect- The more a n individual shones, the more and more respect they are losing for themselves. Any person that would willingly give it up to a random just for self gratification or for monetary reasons (this makes them similar to prostitutes), does not have love or respect for their very own bodies. Ladies, your bodies should be your temple. You can not just left Tom, Dick, and Harry just climp your empire. Lets have some carriers to entry. Do not let people put dents in your temples.

3. Friendships- If shoning involves friends it could often times turn ugly. No one wants to be told that their best friend is a p-popping shone who just gives it up. People realize these days that birds of a feather flock together. Therefore, if one member of the group is a shone, then most and likely the entire group will be judged and viewed as shones. It is all about being guilty by association. You could definitely lose friends over ones shoning ways.

4. Relationships- **** This is the biggest and most important one. Although losing a friend is difficult, but losing a relation is hard as well. Shoning does nothing for a relationship but create tension, controversy, and arguments. No one wants to stay in a relationship with a person who cheats on them and does not stay in the monogamous relationship. Point blank period, if you are in a relation then DO NOT SHONE!

Getting back to this epidemic that is surrounding us all. Shoning is not good for you, though you may think so, and though it may feel good. IT IS BAD!!! It causes too much chaos and should not be practiced. If you have the opportunity to stop a shone in action, please do so. We must put an end to this new epidemic.

We will later analyze the reasons Why people shone!

Word of the day: Dank

Word of the day: Dank

A term used to describe something or someone that is fly and has swavor for days. If something is considered dankish, then it is considered to be fly and exhibit je na se qua characteristics. A person who exudes dank qualities is of high quality and style.

Man A to Man B: "Yo dawg, did you go to the Cudi Concert."

Man B to Man A: "Naw man, I aint go, but I heard it was dank man."

Man A to Man B: "Yea man, you missed out for real, Cudi is just different from the rest he got that swavor though."

Swagga' Jackin'

Phrase of the Day: Swagga Jackin

The act of copping, stealing, or attempting to borrow thw swag of another individual. A swagga jacker is often a lame, loser, square who is attempting to be more like the person who has that swag. These people are perpetrators, who try to live their lives through others. Do NOT be fooled by Swagga Jacks, they can be found all over. BEWARE!!!

Sasha:"Wat up KeKe, so I just bought some new shoes. They are just like Amanda's. I am going to be so FLY."

KeKe:"Girl, why you trying to swagga jack that girl style. Be original for once and stop copying people. UGH."

Word of the day: Salope

Salope-

An expression yelled out at a male/female who exemplifies the necessary qualifications to be considered promiscuous and scandalous. These type of people often times does something strange for some change (It's a Recession!).

"Mary Sue over there will do anything you ask her too. She is a big salope and she don't even care."

Word of the day: Muffin

Word of the Day: Muffin

N. A delicious, moist, and fluffy treat that comes in many flavors, shapes, sizes, and scents. It takes a great baker/caker to acquire a great muffin. Box muffin mixes are just so easy to come across. Any and everybody gets those boxed muffins. Males should strive to get those home made muffins. Ones that are freshly made!

"Man, I heard that she just be bluffin' with her muffin. She is a good girl, no shone there!"

Mobile Thuggin' ?

So everyone is familiar with the new FAB of Internet/Facebook Thuggin' (Also Known as iGoonin'). Well, we cannot forget about that good ol' Mobile Thuggin'.

Why do people feel the need to Mobile Thug?

Are they trying to hide behind there tiny little cell phone screens?

I love it when people get mad at you, and call themselves going off on you via TEXT! Really, a text! Lets do better with our lives. I mean I know that technology is progressing and we all have nice gadgets that allow us to do cool tricks on our phones. But, MOBILE THUGGIN'! I don't think this is what the technology was made for.

So I have a few reasons as to why these forms of Goons exist:
1. Lack of Self-Esteem
2. Lack Confidence
3. Lacks Hobbies
4. Lacks Friends
5. Lacks a Life

I know this sounds harsh but its true. Message to ALL Mobile Thugs: STOP HATING AND HIDING BEHIND THE SCREEN AND MAN UP BEFORE WE HAVE A MAN DOWN SITUATION! GNR!

The Cafeteria

So as you all may know, this past week I left Florida to embark on a great experience of my life. I am interning in Cambridge, MA (which is right by Boston for those of you who didn't know like me!). The program is called Breakthrough Collaborative. The program works to insure that underprivileged youth gets the necessary resources and help needed to ensure that they enroll in a four year college program. So to sum up what I do, I help impact the lives of numerous middle school-aged kids. Yea I know, I'm changing lives one step at a time.

Well, one of the assignments for the internship was to read some articles that were related to the program. One of the articles read discussed the scenario of "The Cafeteria" in schools. This article really intrigued me and sparked an idea to make it an entry.

The article depicted a scenario in a high school in which when you entered the cafeteria you saw segregation. The article stated that all the black kids sat at the table together. The article went on to ask:

"DO EXPERIENCES WITH RACISM INEVITABLY RESULT IN SO-CALLED SELF SEGREGATION?"

I began to think of this and came to the conclusion that this scenario also found its way to the University of Florida. If one walked on "The Set" on any given day, you would most likely see the black students in one spot, and the whites on another. Now, I didn't say this was ALWAYS the case, just typically. So you may be thinking why is it that all the blacks segregate themselves, when we fought to be integrated in the first place?

Black students turn to each other for support, that they might not get from anyone else. We can relate with each other, and understand the struggles we have been through.

In society, academic success is often times associated with being white, so successful black students often find it hard to fit in with any crowd while in school. The blacks feel they act white, and the whites still know they are black. This can be a confusing time for educated blacks. Where are we supposed to fit in? Do we pretend to be hood to be accepted by our race? Or, try really really hard to be white so that the whites accept us? People need to stay true to who you are and not change for NO ONE!! If that means you act white, then act white! (WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ACT WHITE ANY WAYS??) Just do you!! Im tired of people judging each other just because we trying to do something productive with our lives... GEEZ!!! stop worrying about each other and read a book (you know blacks dont like to read!)

Well, thats all I got right now!!! I need to hit the bed. I have training in the morning! Gotta get right so I can teach these kids!!!

Word of the day: Wholahay

Wholahay:

Adjective.

1. Term used to show endearment for another individual.
2. Used in a substitution of the English Language phrase: "Who the hell???"
3. A wholahay can also describe a promiscuous male/female (For those of you who attended UF's PAACT know Promiscuous Pedals). This person is in touch with their sexuality and is not afraid to show it. This person is by no means a shone or jezebel. This person is more of a tease.

"Wholahay that is down stairs bamming on my door like they crazy."

"Dang, you see that wholahay over there. She CGI!"

Word of the day: Elroyed

Elroyed:

V. The act of being involved in intercourse with another individual. This intercourse could be considered sexual, but not necessarily. A person who has been elroyed has been involved in futuristic activities. This intercourse can be considered out of this world, yet innocent. Never underestimate an individual attempting to elroy, they may surprise you!

"Shawty gone and hop in my ride. I'm talking bout that futuristic love are you with it. Do you want to be elroyed by me? I promise that it will be surreal and ultramodern."
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Being elroyed is not necessarily a bad thing! As long as you are not elroying the entire universe, than you are okay. Just remember to only elroy in moderation!!

Stay tuned to learn more about the Jetsons!

Dead Beat Dads!! The New Fab????

So I felt it to be appropriate on this day, Father's Day, to discuss dead beat dads all over the world.

Did you know that:

Nearly 47% of Black children live in single-parent homes, more than any other American ethnic group.

This is nearly half of all black kids in the world. Is it just me or is this number mind boggling.

About 40% of black children live in homes headed by single mothers.

WTH???? So where are all the Black fathers??? This is a very good question, and I'm sure a lot of single Black mothers would like to know the answer too. Well I'm going to try to think of reasons why males are not raising their kids.

1. Lacks Responsibility- I've noticed that males do not own up to their responsibilities LIKE MEN SHOULD. It takes two to tangle! So you are just as responsible for raising this child as their mother.
2. Lacks Drive- Who wants to be a DAD these days??? Its not in season huh?? You would rather be out partying on the beach and club hopping. Having kids ain't good for your street cred huh? But, of course why should you take care of your kids when you know their mother will. You have no desire to stress yourself out about it because you know your baby mama got yo back.
3. Lacks Motivation- Most and likely if you are a dead beat dad, then you were raised with a dead beat dad. DBD-ism (Dead Beat Dad syndrome) is often times hereditary. You have nothing to inspire you to do right. Even though you could use your lack of a father as motivation to do the right thing, You'd rather not. You would rather just keep perpetuating the stereotype, and just keep the trend going, BECAUSE its a "TRADITION!"
4. Lacks Education- Most DBDs are young! I am by no means stating that all DBDs are young, but most are. The trend for DBDs is to impregnant women, pretend like they will be there for their kids, drop out of high school , and roam the streets. DBDs do not normally seek a higher education, which leads to the next....
5. Lacks Money- NO EDUCATION=NO JOB=NO MONEY!!! DBDs will normally not take care of their kids because they "can't afford to." You all know how much diapers cost! Plus, we in a RECESSION! It's just too much to keep up with. You know DBDs would much rather spend money on cars and rims and shoes. Its so much MORE important than your KIDS.
6. Lacks Commitment- SOME men (not ALL!) are afraid of commitments whether that be relationships or life. Having children is a lifelong commitment! You cant just one day take it back, and be like okay today I do not have kIDS!!! If only it was that easy. Your kids ain't going no where. AND this probably scares a lot of males who do not want to be tied down! Some males even run away from their kids because they think they will be forced to be in relationships with their Baby Mamas. You do not have to be together to take care of your children.
7. Lacks Critical Thinking- Some males think that a child could hinder your "game" or swavor. You think they gonna be c-blockers and prevent you from getting yours. Because think about it no one wants to be on South Beach memorial Day weekend with kids by your side. Whose gonna want to talk to you?? However, if this is actually thought out and analyzed it is a benefit to be a father to your kids. Thik about it! A girl sees you out with your two kids, she will assume that you must have your ish together if you are taking care of your responsibilities, and of course she will want to talk to you. Kids can be girl magnets, ESPECIALLY cute kids!

If any of you out there are DEAD BEAT DADS, then I advise you to take care of your responsibilities and help raise your own kids. You laid down and made the child, so you can help raise the child. I'm so tired of seeing single moms working two jobs, and in school, while you sit at home doing nothing. Just remember that...

Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad.

The Ol' School

I felt the need to bring light to the old terms/phrases that I have also created in the past with the aid of my RODs and fellow Boxcar Siblings. Feel free to begin using this terms, and comment on the ones you like or enjoy.... I'm trying to go GLOBAL with the words, so help a THINKING BLACKMAN out!!

Phrase : Slow Burn

An insult that doesn’t sink in for awhile.

"When Jasmine figured out that slow burn comment from the girl at the bar, she was so pissed."

Word: Sexting

v: the act of text messaging someone in the hopes of having a sexual encounter with them later; initially casual, transitioning into highly suggestive and even sexually explicit

"Its 2am and I'm so lonely. You know what? I think I'm going to start sexting my girl to see whats up."

Word: slide

N. A person that you mess with outside of a relationship that you are not serious about. In most cases; someone who doesn't know they are your shone or friend with benefits.

"Nah son, she ain't my girl, she just a slide."

Word: Thomased

V. To engage in a sexual act with multiple individuals; usually pertaining to one individual submitting to various individuals at once.

"Shorty right there is a true freak. Me and my boys thomased her the other day."

Phrase: Make haste

To escape quickly from any situation. This phrase is used to warn individuals or a group of individuals that a quick escape is neccessary to protect their well being.

"Girl A insults Girl B"
"Girl C tells Girl A: Gurl, you better make haste to your car before them goons get you."

Words/Phrases of the Days (6/16-6/20)

Below you will find all of the words of the days from the past five days. Stay tuned for new words daily.

***All words/concepts/phrases have been created by the boxcar kids. The ideas, definitions, sentences have all been thought of by the Boxcar Kids & Friends.

Word of the Day 6/20: Saddleback

N.
1. A person who allows another human being the access to ride on his/her back. This person now becomes an equestrian force, and gives the rider the ride of their life.
2. A saddleback also describes a person who willingly allows a plethora amount of people to get on top and ride it like a Ford.

"My roommate, Selena is a mess. That's the like fifth person today that I have seen come out of her room. She is such a saddleback shone."

Word of the Day 6/19: Swavor

V. The way in which you carry yourself. Swag is made up of your overall confidence, style, and demeanor. Flavor is something that is extremely fresh (Fresh like febreze!). A person with swavor has that swag that will make you go crazy.

"Dang, you seen Archie lately. He has been on his stuff. He got that booku swavor. That swavor that will last for days, better yet for months."

Phrase of the day 6/18: Smut Bucket

N. A group of individuals of lesser value. A male/female who is easy and gives it up to others on a daily basis. Like the saying: birds of a feather, flock together. So if one individual in the group is a smut then the group is called a smut bucket.

"You see them smut buckets over there on the corner trying to get paid."

Word of the day 6/17: Benight

N. A person that will do anything with anyone. Equivalent to a shone or whore. A benight is a word guys/girls use to call guys/girls skanky, whorish, or slutty.

Male: "Kelly, I heard you've been sleeping with all my friends. You benight!"

Word of the Day 6/16: sexsuade

V. To persuade, convince, or actively advise others to do something using sexual means.

Girl A: Hey Girl, my man tripping, he will not pay for me to get my haird done.
Girl B: Girl, you better do like me and sexsuade him to get what you want.