Shoning: The New Epidemic Part 2

SHONERY-The act of shoning; the numerous shenanigans involved with being promiscuous and a shone. Shonery is a condition in which shones continually practice on a daily.

So I'm sure you all are wondering how does one become qualified as a shone, and the different steps of shoning. Well its your just your luck because I am here to bring you all the answers to these questions.

To start, how can one be qualified as a shone?

-This is pretty easy to answer, but I will still go into details about it.

At my internship in Cambridge, MA i teach my kids how to think of things using the "if and only if" theory. This theory can definitely be used to discuss shonery as well.

A person can be a SHONE if and only if....

1)... they sleep around with numerous individuals: It doesn't matter if you are single and not talking to anyone. Being single does not justify shoning, it is merely an EXCUSE! Sleeping with/ messing with/ fooling around with or whatever other phrase you like to use to describe promiscuous activity with others is definitely shonish.

2)... they sleep/mess with others while they are in a monogamous relationship: If you mess with others while you are in a relationship, you are definitely a SHONE! This type of shone can also be considered a cheater. Both terms apply, you can choose to use either word, they are interchangeable.

3)... they flirt with others with the intent of having some sort of sexual benefits: This can apply to those who can be found sexting on a regular basis. Its okay to converse with others, but when your convo is ONLY about getting some, then maybe your a shone. Or maybe even a sex addict. You should definitely ask Eric Benet how he handled his addiction.

4)... they do things with others to get something in return: This can also be considered prostitution, but once again either word could apply. Shones can easily do things with others to get something in return. This return could be monetary, items, or even postions. And yes I said POSITIONS! Shones have be found to sleep with others to get positions they want, and may not necessarily deserve.

5)... they mess with or attempt to mess with individuals in committed relationships: People who know that someone is with someone, but still tries to get them are SHONES! No means no people. No one should strive to break up a happy home. This type of shone can also be called homewreckers.


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There are 5 different stages to realizing that one is a shone. These stages are similar to the 5 stages of dealing with grief. They are:

1-Denial-"I'm no shone!", No one wants to admit that they may be a shone or have shoning tendencies. Shones will swear you up and down that they are not shones, cuz they dont sleep wit everyone, but their actions say otherwise. Actions always speak louder than words.

2-Anger-"Y'all are just haters cuz I get mine.", Shones often times believe that other people are just jealous of them because they get what they want. This cant be further from the truth. We are not jealous that you are a shone with a "Burning Bush" (I will tell you about that later.)

3-Bargaining-"I promise I'll be a better person if people would stop luring me for more."Shones tend to put things off on others. During this stage they try to include others into there dilemmas by bargaining with them.

4-Depression-"Man, I don't care what you think." During this stage shones feel overwhelmed, they are also frustrated and have self pity. They are beginning to realize that they could possibly be a shone, but still arent ready to admit it.

5-Acceptance- "I am a shone and am working to improve on my actions!" Shones have to accept their fate, not just try to bear it quietly. Once a shone admits and accepts that they are shones or have shoning tendencies, then they can work on becoming reformed. Accept and embrace!