SSU

SSU???

I'm sure you all may be wondering what in the world could this SSU be? I mean I am sure you have heard of BSU, ASU, and maybe even JSU, but never SSU. Well after a very informative BSU real talk session I came to the conclusion that another student union needs to be created. If you all are not aware students can create student organizations on campus. With this being said, we as concerned citizens and students of UF need to ban together to create one more organization. THIS ORGANIZATION IS NONE OTHER THAN THE SSU.

Now you wonder what the SSU stands for?

Well I am sure you all guessed it correctly. It is the Shone Student Union. Shones are a population at the University of Florida that is beginning to flourish. Their numbers are increasing and I think it would be great to get them an organization that they can call home.

Now you may wonder why or what purpose this org will serve for the community. However, you know me, I always have my reasons for things.

1. Foundation- This organization will provide a foundation and safe zone for shones/slores/whores or whatever other term you would like to use to describe them. Shones are known to break up happy homes, and therefore do not have any place for themselves, therefore this organization would be their temporary home.
2. Networking- we are all in college and know how important it is to networking. This org will enable shones to meet other big named shones on the campus, compare list, discuss shoning tactics, and execute new plans of action.
   
3. Competitions- The shones could enter in to contest to determine who is the biggest shone, or how many people I can shone with in one night, or how many friends can I shone with, or things like that.
4. Public Speaking- The organizations will also work on developing members speaking skills. If you all do not know shones are HABITUAL liars.. They lie about everything from their name to how old they are. this org will enable them to practice their lies for an audience to see if they sound valid.

Ok so now we see the purpose of SSU, but now we need officers. Below you will find descriptions on the officers:

• President: This is the HSIC (Head Shone In Charge); the requirements of this position include: shoning with friends, shoning with individuals twice your age, shoning to get positions in life.
• Vice President: This person is the next biggest shone in the organization. They have also shones with numerous individuals and do not care about who is affects.
  
• Treasurer: This individual must be a person who is a part time shone/part time prostitute. This person prostitutes to obtain funds for the organization. At times this hone gives it up for free, and other times this shone charges. Serves as the entrepreneur of the group.
  
• Secretary: This shone does all the dirty work. They are similar to Monica Lewinski with their ability to do all the deeds many people do not want to do. This person is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
• PR Director: This is the shone recruiter of the group. There job is to actively recruit other shones who may be in denial or may be undercover.

Okay so we have the details of the org now, so it is time to get this org on the roll. The org will meet on Sundays (the Lords Day because they need to be sanctified with some Holy Oil.). The meetings will also occur on The SET (scaffolds will be set up so Shones can also stand proudly with their scarlet letters).

***I NEED ALL OF YOUR HELP TO GET THIS ORGANIZATION STARTED. I NEED YOU ALL TO RECOMMEND INDIVIDUALS WHO YOU DEEM WORTHY ENOUGH TO JOIN THIS ORGANIZATION. ANY LEVEL OF SHONERY IS WELCOMED. PLEASE RECRUIT. ALSO SUBMIT NAMES OR NOMINATE YOURSELVES FOR AN E-BOARD POSITION IS YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN UPHOLD THE RESPONSIBILITIES.***

Thanks everyone and I look forward to getting all of these names of SHONES.