The ArchiFord's Commandments

The ArchiFord's Commandments

After much deliberation I decided to switch my focus of the ArchiFord from the infamous topic of Shoning to other pertinent topics. Please enjoy, and give me your feedback.

1. Thou shalt not lie. I had to bring this commandment in because people feel the need to lie about every thing. You ask them a question and they just lie right between their teeth. You ask them "is it snowing outside" and they reply "Uh Yeah"; knowing darn well we live in Florida and it don't snow. People pleas be real, and stop lying. When you tell one lie, you have to tell another lie to cover up the lie you just told. Its just too confusing so just be honest.
   
2. Thou shalt not be a peasant. So you may ask what a peasant is. A peasant is a human being worthy of little to no human rights. Being a peasant is not a good thing. If you are a peasant then you are viewed as being of lesser value. I know in most cases you cannot change the hands you are dealt, but strive to be as non-peasantlike as possible.
3. Thou shalt not iGoon. I have said this over and over again but I guess my point has not been made clear. iGooning is not cool! If you can be big and bad hiding behind your computer screen then you can be big and bad in the presence of another. People stop writing in people honesty boxes with these crazy comments. Be a wo(man) about yours and stop concealing your identity. Do you have low self esteem or something? Are you hiding something yourself? Did you ride a little bitty bus to school? These are all questions that should be addressed the next time you consider iGooning.
   
4. Thou shalt not encounter flying cockroaches. Flying roaches are indeed UNCONSTITUTIONAL. These creatures should not exist and if you encounter these critters in life then I advise you all to take action against them. Beware because they do fly and will try yo attack, but they are just as scared of you as you are of them. Show these roaches who is bOSS!
5. Thou shalt not wear tight clothing. Ok, so I am tired of witnessing big girls wearing tight clothing. I mean I am happy that you all are comfortable in your own skin that you can wear what you want, but its not cute. Now I have nothing against big girls, I am all for girls looking nice. But what I am against is the yeast that is baking in the crevices of the tight clothing. This must stop immediately. I know I have a saying that says if you like it I love, but that doesnt apply for this.
6. Thou shalt not wear urban wear. Well, well, well where do I start on this topic. I guess I will start by discussing which brands you shouldn't wear: Baby Phat, Apple Bottom, Ecko, Pepe Jeans, South Pole... Umm these are the only ones that come to mind as of now, but im sure there are more. So people these days do not really wear urban wear anymore, I feel like this trend left us all in high School. I think that it is unconstitutional to wear baby phat at a Homecoming Ball [but thats just my opinion]. I definitely shouldnt see an individual wearing black tights, a gold bp skort, and a gold bp shirt [tHIS PERSON KNOWS WHO SHE IS!]. This is unconstitutional and kind of ethnic.
7. Thou shalt not have ugly hair-dos. Ok I heavily dislike seeing girls with messed up wraps and/or hairstyles. I understand that your hair is a delicacy that takes a lot of time to manage, however, it is not that hard to groom yourself before stepping foot out the door. I think that should be on your to do list when you wake up: Brush teeth, take shower, DO HAIR! And if you do not like managing your on hair than throw some weave in it, but dont just literally throw the weave in. I, as a male, should not be able to look at you and find every track in your head like connect the dots. DO better girls!! make sure there are not tracks showing and we will be ok. And if your hair is a mess dont judge others. Please and thank you!
8. Thou shalt not P-pop on a handstand. There isnt much that needs to be said about this. This commandment is pretty self explanatory. Just because you are flexible and have some rhythm does not mean it is okay to P-pop on a handstand in front of thousands of people. That is just unconstitutional, trashy, and classless.
   
9. Thou shalt not be a critic with no credibility. This is a very important one for me. I love how people who have no credibilty themselves are the 1st ones to talk about someone else. Practice what you preach. Your life is a mess and you want to talk about someone else. LMAO! Get it together! This goes back to my statement about bad hair. Do not be the person talking about another girls hair when your hair looks like a cat's nest.
   
10. Thou shalt not SHONE. OMG!!! You all know that I couldn't go the entire entry without mentioning SHONES! Shones are unconstitutional and inhumane. I have said enough about them so that is ALL!!!

If you all have any more commandments then feel free to comment and post them... Stay tuned for more entries to come!


**************New Amendments*************

11. Thou shall not smell early in the morning. It is unconstitutional for human beings to smell when they get on the bus at 9am. The day has just started and there are no excuses for your odor. If you have this problem feel free to bathe more than twice a day, and carry some deodorant with you at ALL times. We do not want to smell you or sit by you. Please and thank you!
12. Thou shall not wear open toe shoes with crusty toes. I know the world is with me when I say that I dont not like looking at crusty toes. Apply lotion daily and if you can get a pedicure. If you must waer open toes shoes, you need to ensure your toes look right. If our toes look a mess then wear boots for ever!!
13. Thou shall not be a GOON. I know you all are probably wondering what I mean bu be a goon. But what I mean is that you should not have to act like a goon 24/7. We all know you came from the projects, however UF is not the projects so we do not want to witness this coonery on a daily. Get it together and act civilized at some point! geez!!
14. Thou shall not Do THA MOST ALL THE TIME! There are some people that are just EXTRA for no reason. They feel the need to boast and gloat and walk around campus like they are the ish and know all. Please stop it! We all know that you are not cool! And the ones that are extra tend to not have any real friends, so stop being extra and maybe you will be liked.

SSU

SSU???

I'm sure you all may be wondering what in the world could this SSU be? I mean I am sure you have heard of BSU, ASU, and maybe even JSU, but never SSU. Well after a very informative BSU real talk session I came to the conclusion that another student union needs to be created. If you all are not aware students can create student organizations on campus. With this being said, we as concerned citizens and students of UF need to ban together to create one more organization. THIS ORGANIZATION IS NONE OTHER THAN THE SSU.

Now you wonder what the SSU stands for?

Well I am sure you all guessed it correctly. It is the Shone Student Union. Shones are a population at the University of Florida that is beginning to flourish. Their numbers are increasing and I think it would be great to get them an organization that they can call home.

Now you may wonder why or what purpose this org will serve for the community. However, you know me, I always have my reasons for things.

1. Foundation- This organization will provide a foundation and safe zone for shones/slores/whores or whatever other term you would like to use to describe them. Shones are known to break up happy homes, and therefore do not have any place for themselves, therefore this organization would be their temporary home.
2. Networking- we are all in college and know how important it is to networking. This org will enable shones to meet other big named shones on the campus, compare list, discuss shoning tactics, and execute new plans of action.
   
3. Competitions- The shones could enter in to contest to determine who is the biggest shone, or how many people I can shone with in one night, or how many friends can I shone with, or things like that.
4. Public Speaking- The organizations will also work on developing members speaking skills. If you all do not know shones are HABITUAL liars.. They lie about everything from their name to how old they are. this org will enable them to practice their lies for an audience to see if they sound valid.

Ok so now we see the purpose of SSU, but now we need officers. Below you will find descriptions on the officers:

• President: This is the HSIC (Head Shone In Charge); the requirements of this position include: shoning with friends, shoning with individuals twice your age, shoning to get positions in life.
• Vice President: This person is the next biggest shone in the organization. They have also shones with numerous individuals and do not care about who is affects.
  
• Treasurer: This individual must be a person who is a part time shone/part time prostitute. This person prostitutes to obtain funds for the organization. At times this hone gives it up for free, and other times this shone charges. Serves as the entrepreneur of the group.
  
• Secretary: This shone does all the dirty work. They are similar to Monica Lewinski with their ability to do all the deeds many people do not want to do. This person is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
• PR Director: This is the shone recruiter of the group. There job is to actively recruit other shones who may be in denial or may be undercover.

Okay so we have the details of the org now, so it is time to get this org on the roll. The org will meet on Sundays (the Lords Day because they need to be sanctified with some Holy Oil.). The meetings will also occur on The SET (scaffolds will be set up so Shones can also stand proudly with their scarlet letters).

***I NEED ALL OF YOUR HELP TO GET THIS ORGANIZATION STARTED. I NEED YOU ALL TO RECOMMEND INDIVIDUALS WHO YOU DEEM WORTHY ENOUGH TO JOIN THIS ORGANIZATION. ANY LEVEL OF SHONERY IS WELCOMED. PLEASE RECRUIT. ALSO SUBMIT NAMES OR NOMINATE YOURSELVES FOR AN E-BOARD POSITION IS YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN UPHOLD THE RESPONSIBILITIES.***

Thanks everyone and I look forward to getting all of these names of SHONES.