Rules of The Game!

The ArchiFord is now back, and I thought it was important to evaluate this Game that people play. As you all know, The ArchiFord's main purpose is to exploit the promiscuous shones that constantly roam the streets. In my experiences I have come to the realization that shones are not the brightest brightest bulb on the christmas tree. If you are going to be a shone, PLEASE BE A GOOD ONE! After an open dialogue with other scholarly individuals (Intellectual friends), we came up with some rules of the game. These are some tips that you should take into consideration the next tome you are trying to creep or shone on someone.

1. Leave no trace: Delete. Delete. Delete. If you are communicating with someone via FB, make sure you delete your messages or FB Chat. Sexting someone? Delete those texts. Tweeting people to come over? Make sure you DM them and then delete those DMs. The bad thing about texting and FB is that you can delete them on your end but your mistress could still hold the evidence. Make sure you cover all basis and you do not get yourself caught up.
   
2. Deny deny deny: You admit to nothing! If someone ask you a question or makes an accusation, you DENY DENY DENY! You deny until you are blue in the face. But beware because once you tell one lie you have to tell another and another just to cover your back. SO please learn to be a good liar.
   
3. Secret Locations: Attempt to meet up at an undisclosed location. It probably isnt a good idea to show up on campus (i.e A Residence Hall like Broward) to pick up your mistress. Meet up at a location that no one knows about. Also if your car is a unique color, or has unique scratches, or even has unique banners/tags, then it probably isnt the best idea to meet on campus. Your car is easily identifiable. Especially if you live off campus and have no business being on campus. Lets be smart! You will get caught!
   
4. The Circle of Life? No Bueno: We all know that on Lion King the Circle of Life was a great concept, but it isnt when it comes to shones on the prowl. It probably is not the best idea to mess with a group of friends. Shones, "Do you really think they wont find out about you?" Remember, friends talk! They often times compare lists or discuss experiences, YOU WILL COME UP! Once again dont be dumb! Another thing messing with the Mentee and Mentors of others is also not the best decision. These individual often times build a relationship in which they can discuss anything. Therefore you will come up and you will be exposed. There are so many people to encounter in this world, so steer away from circles.
   
5. Just say NO to Walmart: It is not the best idea to go to Walmart with the person you are messing around with at 3am. People are always being spotted in Walmart buying "snacks" with there respective shones. Although the people who spot you are also in Walmart during caking hours, you will still be exposed. Just elect one person to enter the store to pick up items for the both of you. Theres no point in the both of you being exposed.
   
6. Hungry? Just wait! No IHop: So I know we all get hungry late at night, but going to Ihop is not the best idea. Just like Walmart, you are very likely to run into people that you might know. If yall are hungry I would suggest going to McDonalds, they are 24 hours (just make sure you have cash on deck beacuse their Credit Card machine miraculously goes down at night). Take the mistress through the drive thru, so you chances of getting caught are lower.
   
7. Overnight Getaway: Its probably not the best idea to spend the night. Once the act has been committed it night be a good idea for everyone to return to their respective locations. Staying overnight will raise eyebrows. If you do stay overnight, make sure you are up and out of the house by 7am. Not alot of people have those early classes so you wont get caught up trying to catch that RTS. Leaving at 10 am will get you caught up for real.
   
8. Let's change clothes: If you do decide to spend the night always carry a tote bag/ back sack whatever you want to call it, with a change of clothes. Getting caught with the same clothes you had on the night before will raise questions that you dont want to have to answer.
   
9. Study buddies?: So I am all about people being scholarly and hitting up the library to study for classes. I would not advice studying with your mistress, especially if you have no business interacting with them on a daily. It is very suspicious for an individual to all of a sudden just start being study buddies with seniors. What classes could you all possibly be taking together?
10. No jack in the box?: The last rule I have is to not randomly pop up at someones house unexpected. Individuals who practice this jack in the box technique are bound to see, hear, or even smell things they would rather not encounter. Always call and announce your visits to others. Its the cordial thing to do. And plus, sometimes what you dont know wont hurt you (Unless its an STD!).

By no means am I saying it is okay to shone/creep/sleep around on a monogamous relationship. But lets be real! Its happening! I am merely advising those that are shoning to be smart about theirs!

BRIEF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

AFTER ANALYZING THE LAST ENTRY ON THE PRESENCE OF SHONES RECENTLY ON CAMPUS, I REALIZED THAT THERE WERE SOME ERRORS IN MY CLAIMS. THE REFORMATION OF HOES/SHONES IS NOT REAL. THE REFORMATION IS MERELY A DECOY TO MANIPULATE OTHERS PERCEPTIONS OF THE SHONES. THESE SHONES ARE BY NO MEANS REFORMED. THEY SIMPLY HAVE IMPLEMENTED A FACADE THAT THEY HAVE CHANGED THERE WAYS.

PLEASE DO NOT BE FOOLED? THERE DESIRE TO CHANGE IS OUT OF THEiR CONTROL. SHONEDOM IS AN EPIDEMIC THAT CAN IS INGRAINED IN INDIVIDUALS, AND IS CAN BE VIEWED AS CONTAGIOUS. ONCE A PERSON BEGINS THEiR JOURNEY TOWARD SHONEDOM THERE IS NO TURNING. IT HAS BECOME A LIFESTYLE. IT IS NOW APART OF THE PERSON. AS MUCH AS THEY TRY TO PRETEND LIKE THEY ARE NO LONGER THAT SHONE THAT THEY ONCE WERE, THEY STILL EXHIBIT THOSE TRAITS.

DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN THEIR SHENANIGANS? THEY WANT MORE VICTIMS, AND YOUR ABILITY TO BELIEVE THEM LEAVES YOU VULNERABLE.

ONCE A HOE, ALWAYS A HOE (WHETHER THEY CHOOSE TO ACT ON THEIR SHONISH WAYS IS UP TO THEM BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS EXHIBIT THE ABILITY TO BE A HOE AGAIN. )

BEWARE!! THERE ARE SOME UNDERCOVER SHONES <--- ARE THEY REALLY UNDERCOVER OR ARE THEY JUST NAIVE? HMMM THAT IS THE QUESTION.

WHERE THE SHONES AT?

Like Fonsworth Bently stated at The Florida Invitational Step Show (FISS) this year "Where the shones at?" This is a very good question. I mean granted I am sure we all know at least one person whom we deem as a hoe or shone. But have you realized that those that were once the HSICs (Head Shones in Charge) have now dwindled away?

2010 MUST BE THE YEAR OF REFORMED HOES.

You know it used to be so easy to just name the shones on this campus like nothing. It was like reciting your alphabet (you could probably have named a shone for each letter as well). Shones were proud of the work they were doing. They were in this secret competition with each other over who was the best at it. They were not ashamed of their actions.

Not anymore. Now all these "once" shones are reformed. They've turned their lives over. They've been reborn again. I guess a trip to First Assembly will do that to you; make you forget all of your slorish ways and change for the betterment of society. Reformed hoes are now in monogamous relationships, and treating themselves like human beings instead of sex objects. I'm sure alot of us are quite confused by this transformation, but I guess you just have to chalk it up to most, not all, people has a bad first year of college. A year in which they go wild, and just give it up to everyone.

Nowadays the dynamic of hoedom has severely declined. I am by NO means saying that there aren't any hoes out there, hey I can name about two right now. What I am saying is that, hoes are doing a better job of being lowkey with there ways. We dont necessarily hear about who the hoes are anymore. SO I do applaud the NEW hoes on this campus for doing a job well done and keeping there names out of others mouths, for the most part. BUT REMEMBER WHATS DONE IN THE DARK, ALWAYS COMES TO LIGHT.

History!!

Well, I felt there was no better time than now to discuss History. As you all know we will be kicking Black History Month off on Monday!

Side Note: UF's Black History Monthy Opening Ceremonies is on Monday, Feb. 1st, 2010 at 7pm in the Rion Ballroom. Semi-Formal Attire. Free Food. Be there!

Okay, so February is 28 days of reflection, remembrance, and dedication to those who have paved the way. BHM is a time to recognize Legends such as MLK Jr, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, and Barack Obama to name a few. However, it has come to peoples attention that some people in Alachua Countyare trying to go down in history themselves. These individuals are those who have been found to be on the 6+ plan.

Every persons goal when enrolling in college should be to get a GREAT education, and GRADUATE in 4 years (5 years if you engineering or there are some circumstances that permit 5 yrs). However some individual just want to go down in history for the longest tenure as a UF student. Dont get me wrong if you love being here and seeing everyone else graduate then by all means go for it. I know some of you may be wondering why people feel the need to stay at UF for so long:

1. No LIFE: Some people have been at UF for so long that they know nothing else but UF. There is a world outside of UF. Alachua County is only a small entity to the real world. Please try to actually live your life. Idk if people feel like UF will fall apart if they leave it, but I promise you, it wont.
   
2. Not READY: Some just may not be ready for the real world, so they would rather hold out as long as possible. MAN UP and take care of yours! Apart of maturing and becoming an adult is taking care of business.
   
3. Likes SHONING: Some people stay around for way too long because they like to prey on the innocent freshmen. Of course the freshman wont know that they have been at UF for 6 years now. Like I have stated before there isnt any agr limit on shoning. WHat these people dont realize is that they are so many more options of prey outside of UF, so leave already.

There is also the problem of not knowing if people actually graduated.

If we have to wonder whether or not you have actually graduated or if you just walked at graduation, then THAT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM.
This wouldnt be a problem if you would stay out of Undergrad affairs. Why are people still involved with UF Politics after they supposedly graduated. Go get a job, go to grad school, pick up a trade, do something rather than staying up to dtae on the UF Happenings. Maybe its just me but, what kind of example are you setting when you preach to graduate and do something with your life, when you have supposedly graduated but are constantly around doing nothing. Hmm, perhaps you shoudl practice what you preach! Just a suggestion.

Okay,well Im done with this now. The point of this is to not go down in history for the worng reasons. History is so important to our culture, so dont add negativity to it.

HOES! HOES! HOES!

This has been a hot topic for some time now. But I want to know how you all feel about this topic.

CAN YOU TURN A HOE INTO A HOUSEWIFE?

A recent BMDI (Black Male Development Initiative) Session on "What Makes a Hoe," I really began to ponder whether this statement is true or false. Now lets first define a hoe. A hoe and a shone are very similar and these terms are interchangeable (Shone just has a nicer connotation).

Hoe: n. A male or female that has no respect or regard for their body, and participates in numerous, promiscuous sexual activities in small period of time.

So now, I ask YOU again, CAN YOU CHANGE A HOE?

• Yes: Hoes are moldable and flexible individuals (no pun intended) at certain ages of their life. They can be easily influenced and will often times listen to the opinion of others if it will have some benefit for them. The older a hoe gets the more mature they will become and the more likely they will be to change their ways. Some people just have bad periods in their lives in which they may have felt vulnerable, lonely, and depressed and may have turned to shoning around for comfort. However, it is likely that if you get a hoe and want to wife her up, then she could change her ways. Most hoes just want to feel needed and wanted, so if you invest your time in them, then they could possibly change. When trying to change a hoe, you may want to have a S.I (Shone Intervention), and actually sit down with them and go over the ways in which they are a shone, ane the ways that they can improve.
• No: Once a hoe, always a hoe! Many people will agree that you cannot change a hoe into a housewife. Being a hoe can be viewed as a biological and psychological problem. People become hoes because of the environments in which they were raised in. For example, lets say you were raised by your single, promiscuous mother. You were probably raised to believe that it was okay to have different type of men coming in and out of your life. Your hoedom is hereditary, and may not be your complete fault.You could psychological believe you are a hoe. Some people have so many different sexual experiences that they begin to accept their role/title as hoe, and really convince themself that they are a hoe. Individuals who had inherited Hoe traits or tendencies, or individuals who have cognitively and psychologically accepted the title of HOE are hard to change. It is very difficult to change 10-15 years of Hoedom. It just won't happen. So why waste your time, energy, and effort trying to change a hoe.

Let's face the facts: Half of ALL African-Americans will marry a HOE! Yep I said it! 50% of us will marry a hoe!I know this may be shocking to some of you but this statement is so true. As you all know, or maybe not, once we all graduate from undergrad after 4 or 5 years (some people are on the 6+ plan, but I wont get on that), we will enter a new stage in our life. This new stage could be a career, grad or professional school, or internships. Once we arrive at this new destination, we will have a clean slate. No one will know that in college you were the UF Hoe. No one will know that you messed with Three best friends. No one will know that you messed with 8 people in less than a semester. No one will know! So you have the opportunity to be pure. Take advantage of this, and change your lifestyle.

S.I and no I'm not talking about Sports Illustrated

When you hear the acronym S.I. I am sure the first thing that comes to mind is Sports Illustrated. However, when The ArchiFord refers to S.I. we are discussing "Shone Interventions."

Hmmm, so you may be thinking, okay I know what a Shone is, and I know what intervention means, but what is a shone intervention?

Shone Intervention: A shone intervention is an orchestrated attempt by one, or often many, people (usually family and friends) to get someone to seek professional help with there conniving, manipulative, or shoning ways.

Ways to conduct a S.I.?

• Closed Setting: Contrary to popular belief, not all Shones are proud of their notoriety or title; some shones are ashamed, while others love the fame. Although you shouldnt respect shones for their dirty ways, you should try to be nice to these people by giving them a closed intervention if requested. The set (the old-turlington or the new-3rd Floor of the CSAI) would not be a goo dlocation to host these SI's. The reitz has meeting rooms that could be reserved or even use the IBC. We should utilize what ever resources we can to make a closed, comfortable setting for these shones.
  
• Town Forum: Some big-name shones need to sit in the Hot Seat. A fish bowl exercise would be perfect for this (A fish bowl is when a person or a group of people sit inside a circle of people). This type of SI would be used for shones that have repetitively and negatively impacted the lives of numerous people in a short period of time. Do not feel the need to go easy of these manipulative shones, they need to know that the entire UF COMMUNITY knows about there malicious actions. These SIs can occur on the set, perhaps bring the scaffold and Scartlet letter while your at it, or in any open space on campus.

****I've realized that Shones can now be found in all shapes, sizes, forms, and ages. There is no defintite type of shone. Shones also have no age restriction, they will mess with ANYONE! Don't be fooled by the fact that they may be senior and claim that they would NEVER mess with a freshman, because they are clearly lying. Age aint nothing but a number for them, and they will get it from whoever will give it.

Why a SI is important?

• Clear the Air: It is helpful to let shones know exactly how you feel. It is not cool to have some shone walking around thinking that you are a friend or advocate. Please let these shones know that they are disgusting and that you despise their existence (maybe this sounds too extreme but it could happen).
• Confirmation: At a SI you should always provide facts, dates, names, incidents with the shone, so they are informed that you KNOW ALL. You can't con a con, so dont try to get over on people, becuase normal people tend to be quite smarter than shones. Whats done in the dar comes to light eventually, so a SI would lead to confirmation of facts.
• Therapeutic: There is no better feeling than that of telling a shone everything that has been on your mind for some time. You feel relieved once you let the shone know that they are inhumane and frankly you dont like them.
  

Ten Tips to remember for the holidays!

After a month long hiatus, The ArchiFord is back with:

The ArchiFord's Ten Tips to remember for the Holidays!!!

1. Shones on the PROWL- Tis the season to be a shone! Shones are always looking for new victims, so beware! Christmas time is their peak time to get out and explore their hometowns. Remember to not be swindled into thinking that the shone really wants you because the odds are that the shone is looking for a hometown replacement. Shones are always feenin for some and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. "They dont care what they mama say they gonna SHONE!" Also beware because shones are appearing in different forms nowadays. You think you know your typical shone, but these shones are getting bold [messing with friends in the same circle, shoning during daytime hours, also being proud of their titles], SO BEWARE.
2. Prostitution is an option- Tis the season to make some money. As you know the expenses that can be incurred during the holidays can send you in a financial hole. Well here is an option for you to get through the holidays without being broke: PROSTITUTION!. Ladies remember that you are sitting on a pot of gold [WELL MOST OF YOU, BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ARE SITTING ON RUSTY COPPER!]. SELL WHAT YOU GOT AND MAKE SOME MONEY. Now fellas dont think we cant make a quick buck for what we do... We can make bank as well. Start chargin these shones admission. WHY give it up for free when you an make some easy paper while you are at it [all u gotta do is lay on your back or get on your knees and some of you are quite good at that]. So next time you are looking at your credit card bill from Christmas purchases, and dont know how your gonna pay the bill, then consider selling something.
   
3. Become Boo-less Soon- Tis the season to be SINGLE. This is not the time to try to get booed up. Boos=Money!!! We do not want to spend money on a boo during this time of the year. So here is some advice if you have been dating someone for less than a month, then they do not deserve a gift and yall may want to break up and rekindle after the holidays. Now I'm not discouraging having a boo, im jus sayin they come with a price tag. So to recap: do not get a boo until after the holidays because thet might expect a gift.
   
4. Bake some cakes- Tis the season to be Betty Crocker/Duncan Hines. Everyone knows that they enjoy themselves some good cake. Well the holidays are the best time to get your caking game up. This is the season in which sexting may be considered appropriate. Do what you have to do to get you through your lonely, single holiday at home with your family.
   
5. Reciprocity is NEEDED- Tis the season to give but ALSO Receive. Everyone knows that it is always better to give than to receive. Well, there needs to be an even exchange at all times during the holidays. Too many people just give, give, give, and get absolutely nothing in return. That is unconstitutional and that is what I like to call a free loader, user and abuser. Do not get yourself caught up with people who will just use you to get what they want. Make sure that the rules of reciprocity are met at all times. Shones are good at being users. Do not become another tick mark on there long list of victims.
   
6. Returns & Exchanges- Tis the season to get what you really want. Okay everyone knows that over the holidays we all receive some gifts that are just uncouth, uncivilized, cheap, and unconstitutional. You all can do two things with these unwanted gifts: 1. Return or exchange them to the store to get something else or get some money. 2. Keep the gift, and wrap it up and give it back to the person who gave it to you. I like option two because people need to realize that they shouldnt give crappy gifts. If at all else fails, get a gift card or cash is always good.
   
7. Dont Wait. Initiate- Tis the season to make some moves. The holidays always tend to bring out the best in everyones attitudes. You may have had your eyes on a particular person, but didn't want to pursue them just yet. Well this season is the perfect opportunity to stop waiting and actually initiate some communication with this prospective mate. However, before making moves, make sure that you have done your research and that this person is no UCS [undercover shone]. UCS' are running rampant this days, and they would like nothing better than to taint the lives of another innocent bystander. Further more, begin some pursuits so that you can have a Valentine's Day boo.
   
8. Save your Money- Tis the season to be cheap. So I really do not like the word cheap. It has such a negative connotation. So instead we shall use financially conscious. Its okay to be this way. Some people just do not deserve your money. Shones are not worthy being taken to the movies, get a bootleg for they ass. Shones do not deserve the nice restaurants, take them to Micky D's for food. You get the drift do not waste money on someone that is not serious about you. Just give them the physical or sexual acts they want and keep it moving. Do not waste cash on them.
   
9. You can Run, but you cant hide- Tis the season to be proud of the real YOU. Many people go back home for the holidays; a place where everyones reputations are still left in tact [Unless you were even a bigger shone back home]. Shones are able to get away from there tainted image for a couple of weeks, however, people will begin to see through you and determine your shonedom. People beware of shones when you go home, they will try to claim monogamy but they are far from that.
   
10. New Year's Resolutions are not real- Tis the season to cut the crap. Majority of people will welcome the new year with fake resolutions. "I am going to lose weight!" "I am going to be a nicer person!" "I am going to stop being a shone!" NO YOU ARE NOT, CUT THE CRAP. Stop making unrealistic statements be true to yourself. If you know that you have been trying to lose weight for 5 years, then just let yourself gone. Like Drake said you are So Far Gone. If you are not known to be nice, then it is not the time to try to change. It has taken 20 years to mold yourself into the mean person you are. Do not try to change you, just perfect yourself. Last but not least, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STOP SHONING. It is a biological condition that is specific for you. Once a shone always a shone. You can not change who you are. Shones have never been able to keep their clothes on, so do not try to pretend now.
    

*** This blog was inspired by Miss B Mart***