Pulse Check: Are you one of these characters!!

This summer I have the opportunity to work with my Zone Superintendent. I am so fortunate to have this experience because there are veteran educators who are not privy to such an experience. With this experience comes a lot of professional development and some self reflection. All throughout the summer you can expect post from the ArchiFord highlighting some of the insight I gain.

Today marked the start of my summer job. A lot of the speakers today presented on teachers leading the classroom with TLC (thinking, learning, and communicating). Another point mentioned was the idea of  the top 20% of leaders (teachers for this matter) are leaders because they choose to remain above the line and not go below the line. Being above the line basically means that the thinking that is taking place is serving us with our best interest. Being below the line could mean making decisions without thinking or without thoroughly thinking through the consequences. A person who lives below the line can often times be viewed as a negative person. People who live below the line can cause serious problems to the morale of a school and to the overall success of the teachers and students in the classroom.

Although this conference was for individuals in the education field, some of the things it made me think about can be applied to any profession or any interaction while working in groups. I will now highlight some of the personality types that people should be on the lookout for when entering a job environment  or any environment for that matter.

Ask yourself? Do I fit into any of these categories?

• Aggravating Aly- This is a person who is aggravating, annoying, and irritating, all at the SAME damn time. These individuals are very worrisome and share the most minute details about their boring life, they agonize over the smallest decisions, and are just like a little heel nipper dog that keeps running behind you, and that you just want to kick sometimes.
• Belligerent Brenda- Brenda's are normally in denial and do not feel that they are belligerent. Brenda's describe themselves as being REAL. Brenda's are indeed real, but are instead REAL RUDE. These people often times do not know how to turn it on and off. We all know that there is a time and place very everything. And Brenda's struggle knowing when and where certain acts or conversations should occur. They can sometimes be viewed as being an angry, ignorant person.
• Complaining Carly- These are those people who complain over any and EVERY thing. You could tell them its pay day and they would say "oh well, I am going to be broke anyway from paying bills." I often times tell people to stop complaining because no one is listening. If you do not like the way things are going, then do something about it. Simply sitting back and complaining is not going to change a thing. All it will do is annoy those around you, so just STOP!
• Debbie Downer- This chock named debbie is a depressive dirtbag. That sounds a bit harsh, but you get the point. Debbie downers exhibit an incessant desire to bring down the collective mood of any group. They indeed are known to kill your vibe.   
• Fake Franky- Frank is a very conniving person who says one thing in person and another thing behind your back. This person could be viewed smiling in your face and as soon as you turn around the daggers are being thrown at you. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. 
• Gullible Gaby- These fools are like guppies. Just suck up everything. Like a hoover vacuum. These type of people will believe ANY and EVERY thing that you say. You could tell them that Santa Clause was having an affair with Sweet Brown and they will believe you (And we all know that aint no one got no time for that).   
• Negative Nancy- Nancy is BFFs with Carly. Nancy is someone who constantly whines, complains, and always looks at the bad side of things or situations. There is no room within the education field for Nancy. Nancy is extremely pessimistic, and always has something negative to say. You could tell Nancy that the weather is nice outside, and her response would be "being in the sun is going to give you skin cancer." No matter the credibility of the comment they are always right. 
• Pissy Peggy- These individuals act like people piss in their corn flakes on the daily. These individuals are mad at the world and think that everyone is out to get them. Avoid pissy peggys! If you cannot avoid them, then offer them some diapers to contain all their piss.  
• Ratchet Ruby- Ratchet Ruby describes a person who lacks class and tact. Ratchet and ruby can be viewed as an oxymoron. This person wants others to believe that they are one way, but in actuality they are another way. Ratchet Ruby's try to put on for the people! Ruby's can be seen as promiscuous people who crave attention.
• Shady Sally- Its must be real shady over here because Sally was not only selling sea shells by the sea shore. Sally was also delivering some shade and dirt. Sally is someone who thinks their slick, and constantly tries to insult the intelligence of others with lies and deceit or sometimes the God honest truth. You better check your email because Sally will be sure to show her Shady bootz. 
• Toxic Tammy- Tammy is a person who imparts a bad influence on others. These people almost always have something to say, and they want others to think just like them. Tammy is poisonous and very contagious. Think of her like Swine flu. You can contract her if you are not careful. Toxic Tammy's are known to belittle others to make themselves feel better.

So before I asked you to Ask yourself, Do I fit into any of these categories? I hope you do not fit in these categories, but if you do its time to change your mindsets. Because your mindsets control your actions and your actions control your beliefs which in turn dictates what type of experience those around you have. Please be mindful of this. 

If you read these categories and realized that they actually do not describe you, but someone you know or work with, then you need to check them, and put them in their rightful place. We do not need to keep negative people around. Birds of a feather flock together. So if you have a weak link in your circle, its time to let them fly away.

2012: A year in review!!!

2012!!! Where has the year gone!!!! This has definitely been a year of ratchetness! I will be outlining some of the ratchet moments from the year! Through this reflection I hope one will begin to evaluate themselves to determine if you fit in any of the categories.

• Lawd she rat-CHEET: As stated before the emergence and abundance of ratchetness has really taken off in 2012. People having ratchet weaves/wigs, ratchet relationships, a ratchet demeanor, and overall a ratchet personality. The songs in 2012 have definitely become more ratchet as well from "At the same damn time" to "Bandz Make her dance" to "All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe!" I mean you know I go for my ratchet music, but ummm what happened to the real hip hop and R&B??? Oh well, in the mean time I guess the world will continue twerking to get they bills paid. Everyone in life pays! You either pay with cash, grass, or ass. I'm just saying. You have the option to choose which you are willing to give up. Most choose to pay with ass! I mean you giving it up anyway, you might as well get paid for it. I mean that's Ratchet but do you!!! Don't be ashamed of being ratchet, own up to it, accept it, and embrace it. And please lay the lace fronts and onyx [very cheap, nappy] weave to rest. Do better!
• And in that order: So we have to remember that we need to be doing things in order in life. Get your ducks in a row and get yourself together for this upcoming year. People popping out babies and are unstable and unmarried. No judgement, but um before you make a conscious effort to bring a child in the world, make sure you have your ish together. I mean take the latest news of Kim K and Kanye expecting a child. I mean she is technically married and now pregnant! Isn't that the right ORDER!!!!. LOL! Just remember to keep your house in ORDER before you start trying to change the ORDER of others lives.
• Do you have receipts??: My last statement about getting yourself in order makes perfect segway into this point. People running round here putting on for the world, and have no credentials. Leave it to some of these people and they are just curing cancer round here. Stop fronting and be real. The truth shall set you free. Just admit, I HAVE NO RECEIPTS! That is a step in the right direction. Hopefully in 2013 you will acquire some receipts or learn to sit down in your lonely corner with your 12 cats. 
• Don't be shaking the table: People like to talk a big game these days. People twitter beefing, and I-gooning (internet gooning). Just have a seat. Actually have several seats. We are not here for that. People shaking the table, and not READY to get shook!!!! DO not just talk about it, be about it. I can say being honest and up front with others is the best policy. Nobody wants to be around somebody who run they mouth. I've said this before, but often times when I say things to others, I do so because I EXPECT them to go and tell others. And when you do I know exactly who it came from. Stop the madness! And if you do wanna start shaking tables, be very prepared to get shook or better yet the whole table thrown at you.
• Ain't nobody got no time: I think sweet brown said this best!!! Really aint nobody got no time for foolishness! This one is pretty self explanatory. 
• Animal or monsters: Some people like to roam around the world acting like straight up animals, but what they fail to realize is although they might be animals, they're are monsters present in the world. And monsters will destroy poor little animals. So pick and choose your battles in 2013.
• 4 more years- This is also self-explanatory! We got FOUR MORE YEARS HOE!!! Now run and tell that!!!! lol
• That ish cray: So I have to end this entry discussing the cray cray ish that has transpired in the world in  2012. People are craycray for real. Be safe out here in these streets. Life is too short for foolishness. Live your own life and do not worry bout any one elses. That is all. Until next time, holla for a dolla and get paid to get laid. lol. JK man!

The ArchiFord App

The ArchiFORD is Back!!!

I've been gone for a minute, but I am back with the jump off. A lot has changed since I last wrote, but I will be sure to catch you all up on all the ratchetness that has transpired. Brace yourselves! If you are not familiar with the ArchiFord let me explain that it is merely from my point of view from experiences that I HAD. Therefore, you might not agree with all the contents, but its my opinion and pure comedy. So feel free to catch up if you ever need some good laughs. New entries coming real soon!

Word of the Day: Staunch

Word of the day: Staunch

N. A stank and raunchy disposition or behavior exhibited by an individual; exhibiting negativity and foulness.

"This chick walking around here with this raggedy Onyx weave like it's real Remy, with this staunch attitude. She need ot sit down somewhere."

A person with a staunch attitude can at times be considered a NMFF (if you are unfamiliar with this acronym please see Bball Wives on VH1 or stay tuned for an entry on NMFF, because there are lots of these in the world.)

Synonyms for a person with a Staunch Attitude: Negative Nancy, Toxic Tamy, Complaining Cindy

Word of the Day: Jezebelian Spirit

So Im sure you all are familiar with spirits, i.e. The Holy Spirit, but there is another modern time spirit which is the Jezebelian Spirit.

Word of the Day- Jezebelian Spirit:

N. 1. The nonphysical part of a very promiscuous person that is the seat of emotions and character; the soul of a young adult (typically females) who can't keep her legs closed. 2. A morally loose and shameful individual. 3. A person with a supernatural being deemed evil and conniving.

Jezebels or "Promiscuous Petals" are also known to wear loads of make up and act slutty.

Girl A to Girl B: "I cant believe Sasha stole my boyfriend"

Girl B: "I told you to beware of her, she is so evil and slutty."

Girl A: She definitely has that Jezebelian Spirit.

Word of the Day: Quette

Word of the Day: Quette* (Pronounced Qw-ett)

Noun. A person lacking class and sophistication; a ghetto, hood-rat, project chick; one lacking the ability to mesh or blend in with others due to their innate, tasteless nature.

"Look at that Quette over there. SMH! Did you hear what she just said? She has no class."

-Let me say that I am all for people staying true to themselves, because at times I can be described as being hood rich. However, there is a time and a place for everything. Quettes sometimes lack the ability to censor themselves in professional settings which is just plain tacky. Quettes could exhibit the following qualities: nasty attitudes, foul vocabulary words, poor choice of wardrobes, and negative mentalities. Feel free to use this word in your daily conversations and point out those individuals that might fit in this category.

*Term coined by Adrian Nesbitt

WHERE ART THOU???

Locating Waldo on this picture is almost an easier task then locating the black males of society.

**Before I dive into this topic, I know I know, I've been gone for a minute but now I'm back with the jump off.**

It has definitely been a while since I last wrote. Here's a brief recap of what has occurred since the last time: I graduated from UF, spent a summer training and teaching in the Mississippi Delta, and moved to Charlotte to teach Middle School Math. Woohoo! Yes I know A lot has occurred, but the blog remains the same. The ArchiFord is my blog filled with very interesting perspectives, and unique opinions. If you do not like what I have to say, then merely dont read it. It is that simple. Ok now on to this entry....


Over the course of my trainings and transitions I have had numerous conversations about the state of black males and their lack of presence. It is so difficult for me to advocate that there are black males making strides in the world when I look around the room and realize that I am only one of 2 black males in a room off over 100. It's disheartening to know that I am about to start educating numerous students from underresourced school and underprivileged areas who are looking for positive male role models to look up to. But the problem is there aren't many too in this educational profession.

So I pose this question, where are all the black males?
1. Are they in jail or prison?
2. Are they in the military, marines, etc.?
3. Are they aspiring to be rappers or singers?
4. Are they playing sports?

I can name some places they aren't?
1. In college.
2. In the education field (Especially Teach for America).

We are in dire need of black males in the education field. We have a duty to give back to the youth. We cannot become complacent and think that the problem will solve itself.

*Think of this fact: by the third grade a jail cell is built for those students that cannot read on grade level. This is sad! We need to do something.

If we start getting them while they are young then our amount of black males in college will only increase, and the amount of black male doctor, lawyers, teachers, engineers will only increase. We just have to start working on this now. Nothing in life will be given to us, we have to work for it.

2010: A year in REVIEW!

First and foremost I hope everyone has had a safe and prosperous Christmas. Always be reminded that it is better to give than to receive, and that JESUS is the Reason for the Season. Okay now that I have delivered my little spiel, I can move onto the subject matter. As we approach our last few days of the 2010 year, it is important to look back and reflect on everything you have learned, encountered, experienced, and grown from throughout the year. Here is a list of some of the things 2010 has taught me:

1. Dead people tell no tales.
2. What is done in the dark always comes to light.
3. Know your role, and play you position.
4. The easiest way to get over someone, is to get someone new.
5. There is an uproar of lint lickers. They are taking over and in hiding. You all think we dont know that you are carpet munchers, but we know. Be proud of yours.
6. People are all talk. Dont just talk about it be about it.
7. People are resume builders. They do not do things because they care about it, but rather because it will help them get what they want. This also leads to the next one.
8. Once people get what they want they become brand new and often times rather annoying.
9. When you accept trash, you deserve all the trash in the world.
10. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
11. People are afraid to speak their minds in fear of being judged or ridiculed. Do not censure yourself to please others.
12. Always remember to leave no trace and DENY, DENY, DENY!
13. The reformation of hoes/shones is not real.
14. Once a hoe, always a hoe (whether they choose to act on their shonish ways is up to them but they will always exhibit the ability to be a hoe again. )
15. People just do not know how to graduate. I promise you some people just been in school for 6-7 years. There is a life outside of UF.
16. Half of ALL African-Americans will marry a HOE!
17. Shone Interventions are important but sometimes do not work.
18. Shones are always on the prowl, so beware!
19. It is smarter to be a prostitute than a hoe. At least get paid for giving up the goods.
    
20. The "COMMUNITY" at UF is DEAD, and rightfully so.
21. Closed legs dont get fed.
22. Death to lacefronts. They are not cute and they take out all of your edges. Be smart ladies
23. Basic bihs are trying to take over. DO NOT LET THEM.
24. If the shoe fits, wear it, if not jam it in.
25. If you were a BASIC bih in 2010, you will be one in 2011. No thing changes.
26. People concern themselves with other's lives too often. Get a life, and stay outta people business.
27. Too many puppets roam around UF. Create you own path.
28. People live in a fantasy world and think that they are brand new.
29. Those who have a bad appearance need not to talk about others (i.e bad weave is NO BUENO! Please get the remy)
30. You give people a inch, and they take a mile.
31. People use MENTORing for personal advancement.
    
32. People sleep their ways into leadership positions.
33. People often times like to play the victim.
34. People cannot hold water, and like to start drama.
35. Make it rain- do not be promiscuous for free!
36. People live vicariously through Twitter and social Media. They try to mislead people to believing that they are cooler or flyer than they really are.
    
37. People lie about everything. Just tell the truth for once. If you tell one lie, you have to tell another to cover up for it.
    
38. Those who are often times on the defense, are 90% of the time guilty of something. What you getting mad for?
    
39. People who are not apart of certain things should not provide input on improvements. These people are always the first ones to talk about or give suggestions. If you do not know how its run or if you have NEVER been apart of it then please keep your mouth closed.
    
40. The set is dead! The reasoning for this is unknown but accept it.
41. Those who live in glass houses, should not throw stones. Stop pointing the fingers at others and take ownership.
    
42. Females have the power to control their own destiny. You are sitting on a pot of gold. Use what you got to get what you want.
43. People are still obsessed with urban wear. Baby Phat, Enyce, etc are not the business. Please do better.
44. People allow titles/positions/organizations/groups define who they are. Be true to yourself.
    
45. People put themselves at risk by having unprotected sexual intercourse. Be smart! To lead you must be aware.
    

I will leave you with this to ponder on. What things have 2010 taught you? Share them with the ArchiFord.

Are you a TRICK or a TREAT?

So the question is: Are you a trick or a treat, You be the judge? This is a self-assessment type of blog entry. It is time to re-evaluate our own self and determine if we are a trick or a treat. Do you have a malicious intent or are you misunderstood? Like I said before you be the judge!

Before I go into anything let me say Happy Birthday to my sister!!!

Alright now onto business.

The ArchiFord has been gone for a minute, now its back with the jumpoff!

Are you a TRICK....

• Are you a promiscuous PETALS or a SOCIAL BUTTERFLY fluttering your wings and things all over? It is okay to have fun, but do not get crazy! I feel as though everyone at some point in time has been a social butterfly (whether you admit it or not!). Hopefully this era occurred during your late adolescent years, and you have learned, matured and realized that you are no longer BTL (bout that life). Promiscuous Petals is no bueno.
• Are you using MENTORing for your personal advantage? People these days take mentoring to a whole new level. We have people being mentors in hopes of locating prospects. Mentors and mentees should not be sexually involved. Yet! This is currently a new trend. Everybody wants to use mentoring as a justification for their inhumane actions. If you all want to mess around then that is cool, yall are grown, but do not use mentoring as a way to cover it up.
• Did you or are you sleeping your way into leadership? This happens a lot in college as well as in life. People really think that sleeping with the boss or someone in a higher position will set them up for a successful future. This may work for a while, and you may obtain positions from it, but in due time it will all come crumbling down. This technique is actually a form of prostitution. You are giving up the goods for advancement.
  
• Do you converse with "FRIENDS" and think that others will not find out? Some people are unaware of the game. You can not possibly talk about someone else in the presence of people who know the other individual. People cannot hold water, and like to start drama. It isn't very smart to do this. People should reevaluate this term of friend, and realize that not everyone is your friend. Some people are meant for a season and some for lifetime. Once you realize this you can let things go and not worry about them.
• Do you play the victim? Stop thinking the world is after you, and take ownership for your own imperfections. Stop blaming other people, and playing this guilt trip. It does not work all the time. Man up in a sense, and stop playing the victim.

Are you a TREAT?

• Make it rain- do not be promiscuous for free! Like the Travis Porter song states in an revised version: If they wanna see something, then make them pay for it. Don't give it up for free. As I have mentioned before prostitutes are smarter than hoes.
• Mentor for the right reasons! Mentor others for their academic ans professional development and not for their sexual advancement.
• Be real and do not be afraid of conflict. Embrace conflict, and do not be scared to approach others with concerns. Man up!

This is all I have for you all on this Halloween evening. Enjoy!

Word of the Day for Wednesday May 19: Lint Licker

Word of the Day: Lint Licker

n. A person (most commonly a female) who takes pleasure in licking the lint. The lint is a term that is interchangeable to the female reproductive organ. Lint licker is a term used to refer to Lesbians. It is sometimes meant to be a slur or a derogatory word for those individuals that are head over heels for some 'gina.

"Man them girls down with that P.U.S.S."
"They are some real life lint lickers."


Lint Licker Movement:

Has their been a new movement for females to become lint lickers?

I mean I know times are rough, and the ladies complain about finding a good man. But geez, do yall really have to resort to licking the lint. Of recent, I have witnessed the uproar lint-lockery (The new lint licking phenomenon. I coined this term!). Everywhere I go I see them. On the beach, at the mall, even while at work. They are all over, and I feel as though they are trying to take over. I, by no means have a problem with the lint-lockery, you know whatever floats your boat and tickles your pickle. As my grandfather would say "you like it, I love it." But what is this whole movement all about?

Is it the last resort for women who are just sick of men?
- If so, my fellas we need to step our game up, because we canNOT be losing all of our women to this new movement.

Is it because licking lint is in season? Its the new thing to do.
-With Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj becoming so big of recent, it may be causing females to think this phenomenon is a cool thing to try.

Is it because they just like women?
-If this is the case, then I cannot argue with it. I mean I dont understand it but I will accept it. My understanding of it can be a whole another topic in itself.

So how do you feel about this phenomenon.

Whats really unique about the lint-lockery is the fact that their are probably alot of undercover lint lickers that we dont even know about. No one ever discusses the 'gina lickers.

For every group of 4 girls, one is dabbling or has dabbled in the lint licking phenomenon. Hmm, interesting dont you think!

Phrase of the Day for Tuesday, May 18th

Phrase of the Day: Tried yo set:

To disrespect; to make such an awesome and clever comeback that it renders the person whom you disrespected speechless.

Male 1: Girl you are the biggest shone I know.

Shone: I am not a shone.

Male 1: Your only purpose in life is to lay on your back and take it.

Male 2: Dang, he just tried yo set fool, like for real.

Rules of The Game!

The ArchiFord is now back, and I thought it was important to evaluate this Game that people play. As you all know, The ArchiFord's main purpose is to exploit the promiscuous shones that constantly roam the streets. In my experiences I have come to the realization that shones are not the brightest brightest bulb on the christmas tree. If you are going to be a shone, PLEASE BE A GOOD ONE! After an open dialogue with other scholarly individuals (Intellectual friends), we came up with some rules of the game. These are some tips that you should take into consideration the next tome you are trying to creep or shone on someone.

1. Leave no trace: Delete. Delete. Delete. If you are communicating with someone via FB, make sure you delete your messages or FB Chat. Sexting someone? Delete those texts. Tweeting people to come over? Make sure you DM them and then delete those DMs. The bad thing about texting and FB is that you can delete them on your end but your mistress could still hold the evidence. Make sure you cover all basis and you do not get yourself caught up.
   
2. Deny deny deny: You admit to nothing! If someone ask you a question or makes an accusation, you DENY DENY DENY! You deny until you are blue in the face. But beware because once you tell one lie you have to tell another and another just to cover your back. SO please learn to be a good liar.
   
3. Secret Locations: Attempt to meet up at an undisclosed location. It probably isnt a good idea to show up on campus (i.e A Residence Hall like Broward) to pick up your mistress. Meet up at a location that no one knows about. Also if your car is a unique color, or has unique scratches, or even has unique banners/tags, then it probably isnt the best idea to meet on campus. Your car is easily identifiable. Especially if you live off campus and have no business being on campus. Lets be smart! You will get caught!
   
4. The Circle of Life? No Bueno: We all know that on Lion King the Circle of Life was a great concept, but it isnt when it comes to shones on the prowl. It probably is not the best idea to mess with a group of friends. Shones, "Do you really think they wont find out about you?" Remember, friends talk! They often times compare lists or discuss experiences, YOU WILL COME UP! Once again dont be dumb! Another thing messing with the Mentee and Mentors of others is also not the best decision. These individual often times build a relationship in which they can discuss anything. Therefore you will come up and you will be exposed. There are so many people to encounter in this world, so steer away from circles.
   
5. Just say NO to Walmart: It is not the best idea to go to Walmart with the person you are messing around with at 3am. People are always being spotted in Walmart buying "snacks" with there respective shones. Although the people who spot you are also in Walmart during caking hours, you will still be exposed. Just elect one person to enter the store to pick up items for the both of you. Theres no point in the both of you being exposed.
   
6. Hungry? Just wait! No IHop: So I know we all get hungry late at night, but going to Ihop is not the best idea. Just like Walmart, you are very likely to run into people that you might know. If yall are hungry I would suggest going to McDonalds, they are 24 hours (just make sure you have cash on deck beacuse their Credit Card machine miraculously goes down at night). Take the mistress through the drive thru, so you chances of getting caught are lower.
   
7. Overnight Getaway: Its probably not the best idea to spend the night. Once the act has been committed it night be a good idea for everyone to return to their respective locations. Staying overnight will raise eyebrows. If you do stay overnight, make sure you are up and out of the house by 7am. Not alot of people have those early classes so you wont get caught up trying to catch that RTS. Leaving at 10 am will get you caught up for real.
   
8. Let's change clothes: If you do decide to spend the night always carry a tote bag/ back sack whatever you want to call it, with a change of clothes. Getting caught with the same clothes you had on the night before will raise questions that you dont want to have to answer.
   
9. Study buddies?: So I am all about people being scholarly and hitting up the library to study for classes. I would not advice studying with your mistress, especially if you have no business interacting with them on a daily. It is very suspicious for an individual to all of a sudden just start being study buddies with seniors. What classes could you all possibly be taking together?
10. No jack in the box?: The last rule I have is to not randomly pop up at someones house unexpected. Individuals who practice this jack in the box technique are bound to see, hear, or even smell things they would rather not encounter. Always call and announce your visits to others. Its the cordial thing to do. And plus, sometimes what you dont know wont hurt you (Unless its an STD!).

By no means am I saying it is okay to shone/creep/sleep around on a monogamous relationship. But lets be real! Its happening! I am merely advising those that are shoning to be smart about theirs!

BRIEF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

AFTER ANALYZING THE LAST ENTRY ON THE PRESENCE OF SHONES RECENTLY ON CAMPUS, I REALIZED THAT THERE WERE SOME ERRORS IN MY CLAIMS. THE REFORMATION OF HOES/SHONES IS NOT REAL. THE REFORMATION IS MERELY A DECOY TO MANIPULATE OTHERS PERCEPTIONS OF THE SHONES. THESE SHONES ARE BY NO MEANS REFORMED. THEY SIMPLY HAVE IMPLEMENTED A FACADE THAT THEY HAVE CHANGED THERE WAYS.

PLEASE DO NOT BE FOOLED? THERE DESIRE TO CHANGE IS OUT OF THEiR CONTROL. SHONEDOM IS AN EPIDEMIC THAT CAN IS INGRAINED IN INDIVIDUALS, AND IS CAN BE VIEWED AS CONTAGIOUS. ONCE A PERSON BEGINS THEiR JOURNEY TOWARD SHONEDOM THERE IS NO TURNING. IT HAS BECOME A LIFESTYLE. IT IS NOW APART OF THE PERSON. AS MUCH AS THEY TRY TO PRETEND LIKE THEY ARE NO LONGER THAT SHONE THAT THEY ONCE WERE, THEY STILL EXHIBIT THOSE TRAITS.

DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN THEIR SHENANIGANS? THEY WANT MORE VICTIMS, AND YOUR ABILITY TO BELIEVE THEM LEAVES YOU VULNERABLE.

ONCE A HOE, ALWAYS A HOE (WHETHER THEY CHOOSE TO ACT ON THEIR SHONISH WAYS IS UP TO THEM BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS EXHIBIT THE ABILITY TO BE A HOE AGAIN. )

BEWARE!! THERE ARE SOME UNDERCOVER SHONES <--- ARE THEY REALLY UNDERCOVER OR ARE THEY JUST NAIVE? HMMM THAT IS THE QUESTION.

WHERE THE SHONES AT?

Like Fonsworth Bently stated at The Florida Invitational Step Show (FISS) this year "Where the shones at?" This is a very good question. I mean granted I am sure we all know at least one person whom we deem as a hoe or shone. But have you realized that those that were once the HSICs (Head Shones in Charge) have now dwindled away?

2010 MUST BE THE YEAR OF REFORMED HOES.

You know it used to be so easy to just name the shones on this campus like nothing. It was like reciting your alphabet (you could probably have named a shone for each letter as well). Shones were proud of the work they were doing. They were in this secret competition with each other over who was the best at it. They were not ashamed of their actions.

Not anymore. Now all these "once" shones are reformed. They've turned their lives over. They've been reborn again. I guess a trip to First Assembly will do that to you; make you forget all of your slorish ways and change for the betterment of society. Reformed hoes are now in monogamous relationships, and treating themselves like human beings instead of sex objects. I'm sure alot of us are quite confused by this transformation, but I guess you just have to chalk it up to most, not all, people has a bad first year of college. A year in which they go wild, and just give it up to everyone.

Nowadays the dynamic of hoedom has severely declined. I am by NO means saying that there aren't any hoes out there, hey I can name about two right now. What I am saying is that, hoes are doing a better job of being lowkey with there ways. We dont necessarily hear about who the hoes are anymore. SO I do applaud the NEW hoes on this campus for doing a job well done and keeping there names out of others mouths, for the most part. BUT REMEMBER WHATS DONE IN THE DARK, ALWAYS COMES TO LIGHT.

History!!

Well, I felt there was no better time than now to discuss History. As you all know we will be kicking Black History Month off on Monday!

Side Note: UF's Black History Monthy Opening Ceremonies is on Monday, Feb. 1st, 2010 at 7pm in the Rion Ballroom. Semi-Formal Attire. Free Food. Be there!

Okay, so February is 28 days of reflection, remembrance, and dedication to those who have paved the way. BHM is a time to recognize Legends such as MLK Jr, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, and Barack Obama to name a few. However, it has come to peoples attention that some people in Alachua Countyare trying to go down in history themselves. These individuals are those who have been found to be on the 6+ plan.

Every persons goal when enrolling in college should be to get a GREAT education, and GRADUATE in 4 years (5 years if you engineering or there are some circumstances that permit 5 yrs). However some individual just want to go down in history for the longest tenure as a UF student. Dont get me wrong if you love being here and seeing everyone else graduate then by all means go for it. I know some of you may be wondering why people feel the need to stay at UF for so long:

1. No LIFE: Some people have been at UF for so long that they know nothing else but UF. There is a world outside of UF. Alachua County is only a small entity to the real world. Please try to actually live your life. Idk if people feel like UF will fall apart if they leave it, but I promise you, it wont.
   
2. Not READY: Some just may not be ready for the real world, so they would rather hold out as long as possible. MAN UP and take care of yours! Apart of maturing and becoming an adult is taking care of business.
   
3. Likes SHONING: Some people stay around for way too long because they like to prey on the innocent freshmen. Of course the freshman wont know that they have been at UF for 6 years now. Like I have stated before there isnt any agr limit on shoning. WHat these people dont realize is that they are so many more options of prey outside of UF, so leave already.

There is also the problem of not knowing if people actually graduated.

If we have to wonder whether or not you have actually graduated or if you just walked at graduation, then THAT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM.
This wouldnt be a problem if you would stay out of Undergrad affairs. Why are people still involved with UF Politics after they supposedly graduated. Go get a job, go to grad school, pick up a trade, do something rather than staying up to dtae on the UF Happenings. Maybe its just me but, what kind of example are you setting when you preach to graduate and do something with your life, when you have supposedly graduated but are constantly around doing nothing. Hmm, perhaps you shoudl practice what you preach! Just a suggestion.

Okay,well Im done with this now. The point of this is to not go down in history for the worng reasons. History is so important to our culture, so dont add negativity to it.

HOES! HOES! HOES!

This has been a hot topic for some time now. But I want to know how you all feel about this topic.

CAN YOU TURN A HOE INTO A HOUSEWIFE?

A recent BMDI (Black Male Development Initiative) Session on "What Makes a Hoe," I really began to ponder whether this statement is true or false. Now lets first define a hoe. A hoe and a shone are very similar and these terms are interchangeable (Shone just has a nicer connotation).

Hoe: n. A male or female that has no respect or regard for their body, and participates in numerous, promiscuous sexual activities in small period of time.

So now, I ask YOU again, CAN YOU CHANGE A HOE?

• Yes: Hoes are moldable and flexible individuals (no pun intended) at certain ages of their life. They can be easily influenced and will often times listen to the opinion of others if it will have some benefit for them. The older a hoe gets the more mature they will become and the more likely they will be to change their ways. Some people just have bad periods in their lives in which they may have felt vulnerable, lonely, and depressed and may have turned to shoning around for comfort. However, it is likely that if you get a hoe and want to wife her up, then she could change her ways. Most hoes just want to feel needed and wanted, so if you invest your time in them, then they could possibly change. When trying to change a hoe, you may want to have a S.I (Shone Intervention), and actually sit down with them and go over the ways in which they are a shone, ane the ways that they can improve.
• No: Once a hoe, always a hoe! Many people will agree that you cannot change a hoe into a housewife. Being a hoe can be viewed as a biological and psychological problem. People become hoes because of the environments in which they were raised in. For example, lets say you were raised by your single, promiscuous mother. You were probably raised to believe that it was okay to have different type of men coming in and out of your life. Your hoedom is hereditary, and may not be your complete fault.You could psychological believe you are a hoe. Some people have so many different sexual experiences that they begin to accept their role/title as hoe, and really convince themself that they are a hoe. Individuals who had inherited Hoe traits or tendencies, or individuals who have cognitively and psychologically accepted the title of HOE are hard to change. It is very difficult to change 10-15 years of Hoedom. It just won't happen. So why waste your time, energy, and effort trying to change a hoe.

Let's face the facts: Half of ALL African-Americans will marry a HOE! Yep I said it! 50% of us will marry a hoe!I know this may be shocking to some of you but this statement is so true. As you all know, or maybe not, once we all graduate from undergrad after 4 or 5 years (some people are on the 6+ plan, but I wont get on that), we will enter a new stage in our life. This new stage could be a career, grad or professional school, or internships. Once we arrive at this new destination, we will have a clean slate. No one will know that in college you were the UF Hoe. No one will know that you messed with Three best friends. No one will know that you messed with 8 people in less than a semester. No one will know! So you have the opportunity to be pure. Take advantage of this, and change your lifestyle.

S.I and no I'm not talking about Sports Illustrated

When you hear the acronym S.I. I am sure the first thing that comes to mind is Sports Illustrated. However, when The ArchiFord refers to S.I. we are discussing "Shone Interventions."

Hmmm, so you may be thinking, okay I know what a Shone is, and I know what intervention means, but what is a shone intervention?

Shone Intervention: A shone intervention is an orchestrated attempt by one, or often many, people (usually family and friends) to get someone to seek professional help with there conniving, manipulative, or shoning ways.

Ways to conduct a S.I.?

• Closed Setting: Contrary to popular belief, not all Shones are proud of their notoriety or title; some shones are ashamed, while others love the fame. Although you shouldnt respect shones for their dirty ways, you should try to be nice to these people by giving them a closed intervention if requested. The set (the old-turlington or the new-3rd Floor of the CSAI) would not be a goo dlocation to host these SI's. The reitz has meeting rooms that could be reserved or even use the IBC. We should utilize what ever resources we can to make a closed, comfortable setting for these shones.
  
• Town Forum: Some big-name shones need to sit in the Hot Seat. A fish bowl exercise would be perfect for this (A fish bowl is when a person or a group of people sit inside a circle of people). This type of SI would be used for shones that have repetitively and negatively impacted the lives of numerous people in a short period of time. Do not feel the need to go easy of these manipulative shones, they need to know that the entire UF COMMUNITY knows about there malicious actions. These SIs can occur on the set, perhaps bring the scaffold and Scartlet letter while your at it, or in any open space on campus.

****I've realized that Shones can now be found in all shapes, sizes, forms, and ages. There is no defintite type of shone. Shones also have no age restriction, they will mess with ANYONE! Don't be fooled by the fact that they may be senior and claim that they would NEVER mess with a freshman, because they are clearly lying. Age aint nothing but a number for them, and they will get it from whoever will give it.

Why a SI is important?

• Clear the Air: It is helpful to let shones know exactly how you feel. It is not cool to have some shone walking around thinking that you are a friend or advocate. Please let these shones know that they are disgusting and that you despise their existence (maybe this sounds too extreme but it could happen).
• Confirmation: At a SI you should always provide facts, dates, names, incidents with the shone, so they are informed that you KNOW ALL. You can't con a con, so dont try to get over on people, becuase normal people tend to be quite smarter than shones. Whats done in the dar comes to light eventually, so a SI would lead to confirmation of facts.
• Therapeutic: There is no better feeling than that of telling a shone everything that has been on your mind for some time. You feel relieved once you let the shone know that they are inhumane and frankly you dont like them.
  

Ten Tips to remember for the holidays!

After a month long hiatus, The ArchiFord is back with:

The ArchiFord's Ten Tips to remember for the Holidays!!!

1. Shones on the PROWL- Tis the season to be a shone! Shones are always looking for new victims, so beware! Christmas time is their peak time to get out and explore their hometowns. Remember to not be swindled into thinking that the shone really wants you because the odds are that the shone is looking for a hometown replacement. Shones are always feenin for some and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. "They dont care what they mama say they gonna SHONE!" Also beware because shones are appearing in different forms nowadays. You think you know your typical shone, but these shones are getting bold [messing with friends in the same circle, shoning during daytime hours, also being proud of their titles], SO BEWARE.
2. Prostitution is an option- Tis the season to make some money. As you know the expenses that can be incurred during the holidays can send you in a financial hole. Well here is an option for you to get through the holidays without being broke: PROSTITUTION!. Ladies remember that you are sitting on a pot of gold [WELL MOST OF YOU, BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ARE SITTING ON RUSTY COPPER!]. SELL WHAT YOU GOT AND MAKE SOME MONEY. Now fellas dont think we cant make a quick buck for what we do... We can make bank as well. Start chargin these shones admission. WHY give it up for free when you an make some easy paper while you are at it [all u gotta do is lay on your back or get on your knees and some of you are quite good at that]. So next time you are looking at your credit card bill from Christmas purchases, and dont know how your gonna pay the bill, then consider selling something.
   
3. Become Boo-less Soon- Tis the season to be SINGLE. This is not the time to try to get booed up. Boos=Money!!! We do not want to spend money on a boo during this time of the year. So here is some advice if you have been dating someone for less than a month, then they do not deserve a gift and yall may want to break up and rekindle after the holidays. Now I'm not discouraging having a boo, im jus sayin they come with a price tag. So to recap: do not get a boo until after the holidays because thet might expect a gift.
   
4. Bake some cakes- Tis the season to be Betty Crocker/Duncan Hines. Everyone knows that they enjoy themselves some good cake. Well the holidays are the best time to get your caking game up. This is the season in which sexting may be considered appropriate. Do what you have to do to get you through your lonely, single holiday at home with your family.
   
5. Reciprocity is NEEDED- Tis the season to give but ALSO Receive. Everyone knows that it is always better to give than to receive. Well, there needs to be an even exchange at all times during the holidays. Too many people just give, give, give, and get absolutely nothing in return. That is unconstitutional and that is what I like to call a free loader, user and abuser. Do not get yourself caught up with people who will just use you to get what they want. Make sure that the rules of reciprocity are met at all times. Shones are good at being users. Do not become another tick mark on there long list of victims.
   
6. Returns & Exchanges- Tis the season to get what you really want. Okay everyone knows that over the holidays we all receive some gifts that are just uncouth, uncivilized, cheap, and unconstitutional. You all can do two things with these unwanted gifts: 1. Return or exchange them to the store to get something else or get some money. 2. Keep the gift, and wrap it up and give it back to the person who gave it to you. I like option two because people need to realize that they shouldnt give crappy gifts. If at all else fails, get a gift card or cash is always good.
   
7. Dont Wait. Initiate- Tis the season to make some moves. The holidays always tend to bring out the best in everyones attitudes. You may have had your eyes on a particular person, but didn't want to pursue them just yet. Well this season is the perfect opportunity to stop waiting and actually initiate some communication with this prospective mate. However, before making moves, make sure that you have done your research and that this person is no UCS [undercover shone]. UCS' are running rampant this days, and they would like nothing better than to taint the lives of another innocent bystander. Further more, begin some pursuits so that you can have a Valentine's Day boo.
   
8. Save your Money- Tis the season to be cheap. So I really do not like the word cheap. It has such a negative connotation. So instead we shall use financially conscious. Its okay to be this way. Some people just do not deserve your money. Shones are not worthy being taken to the movies, get a bootleg for they ass. Shones do not deserve the nice restaurants, take them to Micky D's for food. You get the drift do not waste money on someone that is not serious about you. Just give them the physical or sexual acts they want and keep it moving. Do not waste cash on them.
   
9. You can Run, but you cant hide- Tis the season to be proud of the real YOU. Many people go back home for the holidays; a place where everyones reputations are still left in tact [Unless you were even a bigger shone back home]. Shones are able to get away from there tainted image for a couple of weeks, however, people will begin to see through you and determine your shonedom. People beware of shones when you go home, they will try to claim monogamy but they are far from that.
   
10. New Year's Resolutions are not real- Tis the season to cut the crap. Majority of people will welcome the new year with fake resolutions. "I am going to lose weight!" "I am going to be a nicer person!" "I am going to stop being a shone!" NO YOU ARE NOT, CUT THE CRAP. Stop making unrealistic statements be true to yourself. If you know that you have been trying to lose weight for 5 years, then just let yourself gone. Like Drake said you are So Far Gone. If you are not known to be nice, then it is not the time to try to change. It has taken 20 years to mold yourself into the mean person you are. Do not try to change you, just perfect yourself. Last but not least, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STOP SHONING. It is a biological condition that is specific for you. Once a shone always a shone. You can not change who you are. Shones have never been able to keep their clothes on, so do not try to pretend now.
    

*** This blog was inspired by Miss B Mart***

Lucky Charms

Before I get into my new entry: Lucky Charms, I want you all to make sure you read my new additional commandment on the entry below. As time goes on, more and more commandments will exist, so stay tuned. Ok, so onto the new entry. As you all know, I am still steering away from SHONING!!! I know tear drop!! But dont worry it will be back soon, because there is always some shone to speak about. Now onto Lucky Charms.

So I'm sure all of you are familiar with the cereal Lucky Charms. Well this entry will take a new twist on this magically delicious treat. As you all know the cereal is composed of frosted oats and colored marshmallows. These marshmallows are all different forms of treasure, and with treasures you know comes a rainbow. And as the saying going "there is always treasures lying on the other end of the rainbow."

The focus of this entry will focus on this desired treasure that we obtain. This treasure is our Lucky Charms and we often times locate a pot of gold. This pot of gold has numerous meanings to it.

A we all now we are in a recession nowadays. This pot of gold could really come in handy, don't you think? Especially since we are getting toward the end of the semester and our financial aid money is almost gone. Well no fear FEMALES, because this pot of gold is always with you [Sorry to my males, but we don't have a pot of gold]. Females you have the power to control your own destiny. If you all want something at some point, then all you all have to do is go get it. You have the power in most situations!

I came up with this pot of gold theory from a friend of mine. The theory is basically saying that at the end of the day you [females] are sitting on a pot of gold, so use what you got. If you are ever hungry, need an outfit for a big event BHM or Blackout Weekend, tired of riding the bus and want a car, then this theory can help you get what you want. Remember ladies that you are sitting on a pot of gold [I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT THE POT OF GOLD REALLY IS], so if need be sell that pot of gold.


I know some of you may be appalled at this suggestion, but its life. You females can get what you want simply by selling your pot of gold. By no means am I encouraging you all to prostitute but just know that this option is available. You can get what you want. Think of it like this: there are some people who give it up for free, so why not charge for your pot of gold and get something out of the deal.


So just remember that at the end of the day that you are sitting on a pot of gold [well most of you are!]. Some of you are sitting on some rusty copper, but hey its better than nothing so sell what you got.